Sunday, April 12, 2020

Hey Wake Up! Your Eyes Weren't Open Wide

Coronavirus Easter Dinner of Chili Verde Eggs Rancheros
As expected, my husband headed up the peak of this evil bug on Easter day.  I knew what was coming for him.  It's scary, no matter how ornery and pig-headed you are, it holds all the power.  When someone is super sick in a small apartment it becomes a little like a church, library and hospital room all in one.  There's lots of checking in, liquids distributed, handing off of vitamins and aspirin tablets, monitoring, listening for anything scary like choking or gasping.  I was emotionally spent, moping around in my head all day. This is Easter??? I kept asking myself, sounding like a spoiled child.  I know I'm grateful, for so many things, the list grows longer each day.  That doesn't mean I can hold on to it on bad days.  I tried to get lost in the story, read the book of Matthew, then watched it on Netflix but the actor looked like the guy in the caveman commercials so I was distracted.  Soon I was back on track mentally.  What? God is supposed to make you happy, because it's Easter and you're five, you moron? I tell myself.  Get right in the head, this ain't about you, fool. Wake up!  And I did. 
Needless to say there was no shopping done beforehand but I did have some beef that I turned into Chili verde steak rancheros with corn tortillas and pinto beans.  I set the plate down in front of the couch for P to eat and I took mine to my room all quiet and Trump sad, not much to say of any value.  Let's just say jokes weren't flowing yet.  We usually try to make light of situations to lessen anxiety and worry.  That's when I knew he was there deep in it.  We handle sickness differently as I mentioned.  Men get grouchy, or should I say grouchier but he wasn't even that, he was just in the sickness that day with nothing to give out, his battle was with this virus.  The best you can do for people in that situation is leave them alone.  Or maybe I was just nervous but after making sure he had every liquid available in the apartment, I did just that. 
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Corona cooking is cool in that you're super zen, but also not up for too much fanfare.  Simple is best right now.  In hindsight steak was not the best choice for P to process but he did eat everything and that was most important, to get food inside.  Normally I would drown the steak in the sauce but didn't know if he would be able to handle spice, so I laid them on top, same with the eggs. 
Easter is about a rebirth, a new beginning, salvation.  It's certainly different to experience in this way, all cloistered with death and sickness all around.  And not one chocolate bunny in sight.

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