Saturday, January 30, 2016

I Can't Complain But Sometimes I Still Do

Lemon roasted chicken with cauliflower and potatoes.  If brunch is between breakfast and lunch, then what is betwixt lunch and dinner? Linner, dunch, suncher, lupper?  Perhaps that is why we stuck with early dinner.
This was one of those bullshit shifts where I had to go in around 3pm, and on a Saturday.  Just knowing you have to be in that larger than life retail environment when it's heading towards the mellow hour messes with my head.  I get grouchy and resentful.  I fill with dread and anxiety.  I've tried being grateful and shutting down my internal voices of discontent.  Sometimes it works but in the end, it truly does suck to disrupt relaxation and rejuvenation.  You get through it but there is nothing known that can make me think it's a wonderful thing.
And then your cat hauls off and looks the most comfortable a living thing can be on the planet at that moment by sleeping on the bed in the warm sun clutching your mates leg.  I can't take it I tell you.   It's mental waterboarding.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Til the End of Time, Was it Just a Lie?

Buffalo Chicken over Cauliflower and Carrot Rice
Crushed cereal crusted chicken double dipped in spicy egg baked and laid upon grated carrots and cauliflower and lemon dressed avocados
I feel like I'm too old to blunder more friendships.  I don't hear of this problem from others and wonder if it's something fairly normal and people are just smart enough not to talk about it.  Or is it weird to have connections dissolve or curdle like bad milk as an adult?
People change and all of that.  Sure.  But I don't understand how someone that you previously roped and tied as a true pal could ever veer so far from your heart.  Firstly, how could you let that happen and then why would they just freely leave the premises altogether?
Short of killing someone how could you screw up so badly to lose a friend after 50?  So you come to wonder then, were they truly ever really your friend?  And what does that mean anyway?  Do only real friends love and care for each other forever and ever amen?  Probably not since we have divorce after blissful marriages.  Look at the Afflecks.  And if you don't hang out with but still love someone are you still their real friend?  And what about time?  If time passes and you allow the flame to die does that mean the friendship becomes null and void?
Two people must keep love alive but one person possibly can keep a friendship going I think.  Actually I know because I've been that person in a couple of scenarios.  Are unhealthy relationships still genuine? Or is that something else entirely?  Who's to say?  And isn't it so sad when whatever it was they were, seem to end without your consent?
It seems like in the Beg Scream and Shout box of life, I am currently at the Beg stage.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Son of Tomatillo Turkey Stew

Son of Tomatillo Turkey Stew
This was a cross between a green chili and a pork stew.  Lighter and less fuss.
Ground turkey, fresh tomatillos, hominy, carrots, turkey broth, fresh thyme.

Trekked to work today in the snow and muck.  Had to leave the bike at home.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Give Me Another Chance

Winter storm Jonas was not a let down.  For once what was predicted came true perhaps even stronger than believed.
New York rarely pauses.  It doesn't take breaks or days off.  It just keeps going and going.  Most of the time the energy pulls you along and it is fantastic. Other times, you feel like the jogger lagging behind breathless, slumping over yelling,  'you guys go on ahead, I'll catch up'.  And you realize in these moments that New York is like a current in the ocean.  It will move on with or without you.  The city does not need you or anyone. At some points in my life I now realize that I got caught up in it's riptide.  Other times I've sat it out on the beach watching and wowing at the movement, appreciating the size and scope.  Naively, I've dived right in a few times and played in the big waves. Came out with scraped knees and shins after being tossed like a salad.  Lately, mostly I've just waded in the shallow waters.  Years ago I got a big scare when I found myself literally underwater being rushed out to sea, bobbing my head up I had drifted out way too far.  I was in danger of drowning since I float but I can't really swim.  My eyes got so big and locked in on P who by that time was motioning me to come in as was the lifeguard.  But I couldn't make progress and it seemed to make it worse.  I started to panic.  The seconds were filled with images of being taken as I've always feared.  How long would it take?  Do I just let the water fill my lungs?  Please don't let me die!  I need to figure this out fast!  Then I got on my back and did the backstroke, accidentally moving sideways which probably saved my life.  When I got closer P met me halfway and tried to push my flailing dumb ass towards the beach while I was kicking his head and freaking out.  That was the most scared I have ever been in my entire life.  I immediately learned deep respect for the ocean and for P.  He saved my life like for real.  And like the ocean, I know New York City is fairly safe on the day to day, but that can change in an instant and does so for many people in so many ways.  
But nature trumps New York even, so it was a delight to follow the storm all day and check the accumulations periodically and from the safely of my polka dot pajamas.

That night I put my new skills of making oven fries to the desired crispness to work with cajun seasoning and Louisiana hot sauce.  Then a bunless cheeseburger atop avocado salsa.

It's really important to remember that people are probably the least significant items on this planet that is why it becomes more crucial to take care of each other in the kindest way possible, at every phase of our lives.