Friday, July 31, 2015

Somebody Remembers the Rose, While the other Forgets How it Grows

I saw P when I was getting off my bike at our street.  He was carrying a small sack.  I immediately thought it might be a treat for me but didn't want to assume.  I was starving but it was late and I didn't plan to eat.  It was a single carne asada taco!  A dream!  Better than roses, better than almost anything I could think of right at that moment.  And he took the time to put on salsa verde, the hot one, which he knows is my favorite.
Sometimes men don't suck.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

I've Learned My Lesson, It Left A Scar

Adding to the state of collapse with regards to our current dwelling, our gas was out for 5 days after we came back from our Colorado trip.  Gas and hot water.  It was so hot that we were lucky it wasn't the power, so I'm not still complaining.  It was both exhilarating, taking cold showers and a treat because you have to eat out when you can't cook.  It did get old when neither was convenient though.

On the day it was to be fixed, the guy said he wouldn't turn it back on due to illegal plumbing. It was dangerous and could cause a gas leak.  Whoever did the job was a moron and knows better he said. Figures my landlady would hire a dimwit because that's who seems to do all the work around here if at all. The guy that fixed the leaking roof last year was about 90 and I had to hold my breath the whole time he did this completely dangerous and uncalled for Buster Keaton hire wire act on our top floor rickety old staircase banister.  And the genius patch job leaked through the next rain.  Actually these hires do every job just to the absolute minimum definition of 'fix' and then they're out of here.  No clean up of the site, ever.  No making sure it all works afterwards, that's always a surprise extra.
I'm so glad to be looking for new apartments and fantasizing about no drama neighbors or fear of coming home to God knows what each week.  The neighborhood is amazing and we can't afford it, it's just this building that's gone south.  It's no one's fault, just the situation.  Owner is in over her head and lives out of state, can't take care of her responsibilities.  Her father was a bad alcoholic that died from bad health and he left a grieving girlfriend that is dong the best she can but her best is pretty hard to live above.
The day I'm writing this, a Penske truck is parked outside and guys wearing masks are piling whatever is left of her 40 years downstairs into it.  I feel like sleeping and like a huge gray plume of old air is penetrating my psyche.  I don't want to take in anyone else's crazy 'cause we're all stocked up over here.

The day the gas came back on we had a huge rainstorm and it helped to change the mood setting and I made an easy chicken sausage over greens and quinoa.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

I Remember, I Remember When I Lost My Mind

The best day is when you eat great food and hear great live music.  
Ever since 9/11, the blackout and Sandy, I just feel like when things get freaky even for a few minutes in the city, there is a true sense of impending panic and chaos that is horrifying.  Something happened on the 1 train earlier in the day. Coming over on the D there were announcements, you know from our thousand year old system that you can really just barely make out one or two words. Something about 'not moving', 'some trains were turning back'...THAT's not a good thing.  I screwed up and didn't get off at the right stop so I headed to Times Square to meet P after work and we'd changed trains together.  Well that station is beyond insane in the first place and now with thousands and thousands more people, it is almost unbelievable how crowded it is at 6pm.  Well you couldn't even get down three steps to get on the platform for the 1. It felt dangerous, like it does sometimes. But like it did more so on this day because when trains get backed up at rush hour, the minions just sort of get all bunched up.  If something wrong, like as in bad, were to happen at that moment in that crowded multi train station, it would spell panic and terror.  At the same instance an amazing asian violin group was playing a version of Cee Lo's Crazy, which was so good that it was hard to ignore and even though I was starting to get the fear, I wanted to stop and check them out.  But they also added now a soundtrack to all this disaster movie atmosphere.  Did I mention it was hot as hell and humid too?
We found each other and decided to walk.

The best day is when you get pork belly and pulled turkey BBQ, see and old friend and hear great music... and the world doesn't blow up.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Did You Only Need Me for Those Three Days

We have to move out of our apartment because the owner is selling the building.  It's a great deal in an awesome neighborhood in Brooklyn.  The location could not be better.  The building is a sty and has gone feral over the last year with the unfortunate passing of the owner's father downstairs.  His lady, who we'll call Peaches is in our thoughts and prayers.  She didn't recover well and the apartment downstairs showed all the signs of a broken person.  Sometimes you can't get too close to things that scare you lest you too begin to feel yourself taking on those same characteristics.  I wanted to help but felt no power or understanding of how.  It got really bad and then one day there was a Marshall's notice on her front door and a call from the owner saying she was not allowed in, locks changed. No more Peaches.  Her TV was still on and two elderly cats were left in the apartment.  We did what we had to do and that's all I'm saying.
But with all that fresh in our minds, when your home-life is disrupted, you begin to question everything.  Brooklyn has become very unaffordable.  Do we keep sacrificing just to live here?  Living here mirrors a marriage with the city.  So many times it pisses you off so bad and you just want to leave it in a stormy huff door slamming rage. Or another day you'll get these amazing gifts that make you feel like you've died and gone to heaven.  How do I deserve to be in a place so magical, so full of music, art and life?  When you consider leaving, you fantasize about another kind of life.  The quiet, the nature, the quiet.  No one is screaming Peaches! outside your window at 4 in the morning and leaning on the wrong buzzer.  And really depending on how tired I am I can find the same thing either charming or exhausting.  
My sister writes and sells Colorado as a gorgeous promised land and it is.  The Medical Marijuana industry is booming and there are more opportunities to those that could fill new needs.  It's affordable and beautiful with rivers and lakes and fishing and calm. And my sister!  Some family, something I've gone way too long without.  We scored some frequent flier miles from Big Ed and his wife and went to take a look see for ourselves.  I like extremes, so I don't want a medium sized city when I leave New York.  I want crickets.
 The first night I didn't get any pictures because we were famished by the time we reached my sister's house so even though I was so excited to be there, I made a beeline to some freshly made quesadillas and can't remember much beyond the taste of those dreamy flat triangles.  There were shish kabobs, steak and chicken and then fresh vegetables grilled from her garden.  With all the chaos of us coming and showing us around, we forgot all about the hot sauce she was roasting veggies for when I arrived but the food was so good and we had the best time.  All I could think of was Rach's food before I got there but after I wolfed down my plate, I just wanted to spend time with her, listen to her voice, see her face and laugh like when we were kids.  She was fussing with some stuffed zucchini flower something or other and we dropped that and took a short walk before I realized, it's pitch black out there and no barrier to bears or cougars!  Sitting on the front porch is a great idea!

The following days were filled with so many scenic vistas you almost can't take it all in.  I mean this isn't a vacation spot, this is just where she wakes up every morning.  This is where she lives.

Highlights had to be that first night hanging out. Then the Mesa Drive-In with a quick trip back to teenage stoner years, giggling in the car and getting burgers, nachos, fries and watching Ant Man.  We were goofing off in the front and Rach says after awhile, 'is this the show we're watching?' and I'm like 'no man, it's the previews still sheesh' and we look back at P and he says no, no that the movie started about 10 minutes ago.  Bwahhaahaaaha.  A great night.  

Another fun fest was a day of just driving around checking out everything but getting more sun that we realized.  And then ducking into a restaurant along the riverwalk for a truly tasty lunch. 
 and then relaxing in a hotel with the air on so high that we got a blanket, more giggling and shameful goofiness. 

Bishop's Castle!...freaky, cool and weird.  Just what I needed to see.

Rachel's actual garden was like walking up on an art piece that stops you in your tracks and you just want to sit and take it in.  

 She had giant beets, baby lettuces, kale, zucchini, squash blossoms, dill, rosemary, basil, and tomatoes

One morning Rach made us the best breakfast with beans and soy chorizo, sausage, torts, coffee,  scrambled eggs....that were perfect, something I can never seem to do!

 This is the lake she walks around just down the street, walking distance from her house! Gorgeous.

Then a last hurrah around town to see what's shakin' for us and surprisingly good hotel food.

 I would live here...
 Get burgers here....
....or live here.
 Big ass spinach salad and hotel pizza 

Dairy Queen!

It's so hard to leave my sister.  She's funny and get's me, loves to cook and we share a lot of fun similar interests.  I get attached so easily again.  No one really likes me that much, so it's a rare occurrence that I can't ignore.  And I genuinely feel better around her too.  But how can these two vastly different living situations both feel so right at the same time?  They both fit.  But life comes at you fast.  Got to move by end of October, and miraculously, no one walked up to me and offered me a full time righteous job out there in the whole three days I was visiting.