Saturday, March 31, 2018

Sometimes It Hurts So Badly I Must Cry Outloud

A Blue Moon.  Two full moons in one month.  I can't handle more emotion than is regularly allotted. I can see great sadness and overwhelming beauty in almost every view. Mind you this is whilst I'm juggling all this heavy regret and sticky melancholy.  I should have done so many more nice things for my mom years ago.  She deserved to have that.  She had given so much of herself.  And as a woman, she was exceptional.  Had she allowed her ego to thrive, she would have lead a different life. But she didn't. Why and how could I live my days as if her state wasn't of a daily concern? 
My dad pictured here going to see Davis Airforce base's largest aircraft boneyard in the world. His reflection and posture in this picture had me bawling.  At 94, I would give anything to know his thoughts at that moment?  Just seeing the photograph allows me to consider my own. And of course, it will be sad.
My thoughts during these full moons go through a process similar to endorphin injections. Everything becomes enhanced as if I have the photo filter tools built in to see life in X-Pro II or turn it down to Lo-Fi and get my heart rate so low I feel as small as a grain of sand.  Hearing is super keen and I feel my Indian sky people have hold of my arms and legs.  My energy is not my own.
Related image
My appetite is never at rest but during the lunar event my tastebuds really kick into high gear.  Ricotta, mushroom, spinach pizza slices with chili flakes.  Yes! on every level.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

I Put My Love on Top Baby

Burger on Salad
I don't think I've ever made them exactly the same but each time I cannot believe just how good black bean burgers taste.  When you get a little crust on the outside, it tastes like a dream meat.  The spice and herbs really pop off in your mouth too.  Plus I like things that you mix in a bowl and use your hands. A pat of butter is essential to coax the magic out of the bean patty.
So instead of the lettuce wrap I just lay them on a giant salad.  This way each hot bite is full of fresh dressed cool crunchy flavor!
For a little extra indulgence and because I had one link left, I chopped and crisped up some mango sausage and melted Swiss cheese on top of the patties.  The simplest meals sometimes can be the most satisfying.
Today's Black Bean Burger:
- 2 cans of black beans drained and rinsed
- 1/4 cup of uncooked oatmeal
- 1/4 red onion, chopped
- 2 jalapenos, chopped
- 1/4 cup corn (or whatever leftover vegetable you need to use)
- 1 teaspoon cumin
- 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 egg
- handlful of chopped cilantro
- 1 tablespoon of chipotle sauce
salt and pepper

Mix in a bowl with your hands and form into patties.  Fry on a hot skillet with a pat of butter. until cooked through. 

Sometimes I say I put the burger on the tippy top.

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Zucchini Pizza Boats

Zucchini Pizza Boats over tomato ground beef mac.  
How's this for a Woman's Day type meal.  You run into these recipes all the time when looking for a dinner idea.  Chili boats, Greek boats and this, pizza boat.  It's all so bloody obvious but I like it!

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

You'll See Things in a Different Way

P's 55th Birthday.  Isle of Dogs Movie after work featuring a special Japanese menu.
Cake trio from Touch of Velvet.  This slice being the winner, a strawberry and cream.
Chicken Yakitori, Our Trash Island take on the classic skewered chicken dish. “This is a favorite of one the dogs in the film, so I knew immediately it had to be our second snack. We take juicy all-white meat chicken and a fat smoked sausage, marinate them in a sweet and tangy blend of togarashi, honey, and soy sauce, then skewer and roast ‘em to perfection.”
Not pictured, the cookie trio, pressed coffee and the M Train Flatbread, a favorite.  I love this theater and if you go for it, its not a cheap date but it does feel special.  When I was younger I would have thought we'd go to Hawaii or somewhere exotic to celebrate a memorable birthday like this.  But it wasn't in the cards or budget. Neither of us like fuss around personal holidays so its fitting we went to a movie after work.  If you take all the grand prefabricated expectations out of these occasions you can really appreciate simple revelry.  

Monday, March 26, 2018

We Gotta Stand Right By Each Other, Gotta Try Harder Baby

Crispy Tofu Bowl 
You know when Tofu sounds great? When you've eaten chicken for like 6 months straight and no new recipe idea will fix the digestive boredom that festers in your belly.  And actually, getting the crisp without deep frying is gonna be a skill goal but this first effort sold me on future ventures.  My only miss was that I couldn't find that great Thai hot sweet chili sauce and bought Korean instead.  Not the same. And it mattered.
But the end result was a buying-in of forthcoming tofu dishes because I can look at the picture and taste the crisp on that hot cube.  The nutty quality, the crunch of those toasted cashews and the pickle on that onion.  The way that the herb perfectly compliments those qualities.  Plus it's good for ya.  My body instantly rewarded this behavior.
It's so easy to reach for take out or fast food when you run out of ideas or are tired.  I think the difference when you hit a particular age is that your body is unforgiving and immediately attacks your system.  You quickly realize bad choices have direct consequences.

Sunday, March 25, 2018

If It Keeps on Rainin' Levees Going To Break

Some days wrap into perfect little thoughts and stories.  Other times they're kind of random and insignificant.  Stormy Daniels was to appear on her first television interview and I'm a little embarrassed to say I was fairly curious to hear what she had to say.  Not because I'd be shocked to hear Trump had an affair or that I even feel it's relevant, other than the whole money part.  I guess there was something about this particular woman's story that was appealing.  She certainly wasn't going to come on as a victim.  She was a seasoned professional, so I sort of got it that she was more pissed about being bullied into submission. She was looking for vindication. Or money.  I guess that was my question.  What was her angle?
The spot aired and we watched.  It didn't change the world.  It was what it was.  I felt like by the end I realized that it may be best to just keep all of this nonsense out of my daily diet.  What do I really care anyway, really. This is none of my business.  And if it comes out that Trump ordered her followed and threatened, then someone will go down but most likely not him.  If he's capable of that sort of nonsense, he's going to screw up and someone is going to nail him, eventually.  With something even more impressive.  Or not.  People get away with crimes all the time.  He won't be the first.  If he's innocent and its only the lawyer operating on his own, then what's new?  High powered lawyers do horrible things every day.  It is what it is.
My 94 year old dad trying Pho, second time this month.  That's a good day. 
And so was dinner.  Baked orange glazed chicken thighs with white beans and spinach.
It certainly wasn't going to change the world but I was happy to have it.  And it was good but nothing I would look forward to having again.

Breakfast was soft poached eggs over spinach and potatoes.  And bacon.  A good day, nothing special and right now that's fine with me.  I'm not anxious for the day when all this shit hits the fan.  Regardless of what I think of him, a lot of people believe this one man wants to make good change for us.  People that I care about and love.  People I don't want to see hurt.  This is what it is though, no doubt about that.

Friday, March 23, 2018

Dinner Salad

A dinner salad.  A salad for dinner.  Meat and greens.  A big bowl of tasty bits all mixed up with greens.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Nobody Gets Too Much Heaven No More

Patrick went on another road trip and in traditional fashion mother nature got all sassy and gave us a snow storm.  So also right on cue my fantasies of having a whooping good time quickly turned south and by mid afternoon I was knee deep in familiar anxiety and dread.
I was able to make a spicy ground turkey putanesca over linguine and ate enough to push all the self revulsion far enough down where I could easily ignore it.  Out of sight out of mind they say.  At least until the 2 hour coma nap took hold.

The great thing about a long nap is that you really get to go somewhere and get our of your head. Whether you wake up the same miserable schlep or not it's still worth it.  Once in awhile, and it takes time to become fully coherent again but you can grab some fresh perspective and energy. 

But if you're like me and you still can't find awesomeness in your own reflection, you just get yourself a little pan and heat up some of those amazing leftovers.  At least your belly will be happy.