Saturday, January 23, 2021

Buenos Noches from a Lonely Room

One interesting thing about being diagnosed with COVID, seeing as how big it is and how many people are affected, you're given very little information or instruction.  Nothing more than go to the hospital if you're fever rises above this number or if you have trouble breathing.  Officially, maybe that's all they can say as there is not a cure but surely, there must be more.  You're on your own with this one, in more ways than one.  If you do have to take that hospital trip, you won't be joined by your loved ones.  In many way it's frightening so I approach it like I would a bear in the woods.  I'm not running, just slowly backing away and praying it doesn't stand on it's hind legs or charge me.

I'm almost two weeks following the diagnoses but unlike some folks, the virus hasn't left.  It wanders around my camp, breaking branches, making me aware of its presence.  I'm feeling better each day, but it lingers and tries new ways to attack. It came back with new strength after a short phone call just 3 days ago.  Sweats and fatigue had followed any sort of exercise, like getting out of bed and walking to the window.  Now that's been replaced with needle-like chest pains and sudden nausea, losing feelings in my hands.  Weird stuff.  It's not so bad that I need to do anything but go back and lay down but after 14 days, I will admit, it scares me.  An internist told me some folks just have a much longer recovery which was encouraging because time is what I have to give.  So I'll keep a good thought.

Cobb Salad 

Thursday, January 21, 2021

You're Messin' Up My Mind and Fillin' Up My Senses

As I'm coming out the ass end of this pinche pendejo COVID virus for the 2nd time (!!), I want to learn to speak Spanish just so I can sufficiently curse it out like a scorned witch from an old Mexican village.   

During my isolation, I eat out of necessity although I am thrilled to be served hot food on trays each day.  As someone in a long term relationship, I really have to give it up to my partner for completely coming through for me.  He's never been one to dote, so making breakfast, lunch, snacks each day is a true feat not to mention fetching meds, endless hot and cold drinks, washing dishes and sleeping on a tiny loveseat.  Everything I put him through with the two ER scares was above and beyond for anyone, let alone, you know, a man.  He's a guy-guy, not one of these new millennial empaths.  That's a nice way of saying he's not naturally considerate, its work for him.  He's a loner that never grasped the concept of union completely.  Usually he needs very clear instructions if I want help and nothing can be left for interpretation.  He'll do anything I ask, I just couldn't imagine he'd be up for making every meal for 2 weeks straight. People are dying alone though, so I can't help but be flooded with deep gratitude.  I know his limitations so I'm sure he was about ready to stop being nice to me like 9 days ago.  Afterall, this is real life and we all just want to be left alone, no one more so than my husband,  so I recognize the scope of his generosity.  These are some of the meals he left at my door like a tired, angry prison guard.
Rigatoni and bok choi

Chili Relleno and Chips
Spaghetti and meat sauce with sauteed mushrooms and garlic
Red Velvet Cake with tea and shot of whiskey
pot pie and steamed broccoli with banana
Bunless cheeseburger with vegetable soup
chicken noodle soup with grilled cheese and sundried tomatoes
Pizza slices
Chicken wrap with vegetable soup
Pot pie with 1/2 a sandwich
Corn Chowder with 1/2 sandwich
Ravioli and lettuce wraps
A proper sandwich and chips
Scrambled ham and eggs with spinach tortilla
pizza slices

I'm not far enough away yet from this virus but I do have to say, it is intriguing.  If you haven't had the pleasure, it's not what you might think.  Yes, it is closest to the flu and the lists you see on MSN are all true. Of course it's different for everyone, but there are so many more not so small oddities that come and go like little gremlins.  Some so severe, they wreak psychological havoc on your already tired mental state. Dry, cracked lips, stabbing leg pain, blurry site, achy eyes, sudden rash.  Here's one for you acid droppers from the 70s.  Remember when your eerily warm skin felt super alive, as if time stopped existing and you could feel all the microbial cities making your body work with some inner eye??  You know the one, where you find yourself in the bathroom examining this incredible foreign creature two inches from the mirror. Well, That feeling!  Ringing in the ears, extreme charley horses in the extremities, sudden hoarseness. I mean the list goes on, nausea, scary chest pain, teeth chattering chills, sweats, back punching pain and zombie like tremors.  I write this list to share but also to remember.  You never feel 100% but weeks from now I'll need to remind myself of waking up on the floor from passing out, sweating and running to get Patrick but realizing I couldn't move half my body, my arms and hands locked up in a crippled position.  I'm super lucky and although I'm still sequestered, it seems for whatever reason I have been spared again.  But the virus got me close enough to that frightful edge again that I stay on high alert. 

Sunday, January 3, 2021

I Dreamed I Saw the Silver Spaceships Flying In the Yellow Haze of the Sun

What was to be a day trip tag along ride with P would turn into the beginning of a series of unfortunate events.  I thought it might be a good idea to go get out, breathe some fresh air and forget all our worries.  P needed something you can only get it in Massachusetts, a short 2 hour drive up the Taconic, our favorite parkway.  If it was fun, maybe we'd spend the night in a hotel, as my sister suggested, make it a real getaway.

This was a steak and cheese breakfast sandwich we got an hour into the drive.  The beautiful thing about the Taconic State Parkway is it's a step back in time. You would swear you were in the 1970's by the views and traffic on this Pandemic Sunday, so peaceful.  Getting out of the city is a an insane series of frantic merges, so by the time you do get out, you need that peace. 




The Pass - A nice dispensary in the Berkshires
The night before I'd read about a UFO incident that happened in the same town of Sheffield.  The story was featured in Ancient Aliens and Unsolved Mysteries, Vol 1, the Berkshires UFO, right up my crazy alley.  A compelling story involving several unrelated townsfolk that seem more interesting than credible but regardless, convinced me that something happened here back in 1969.  Many things, as a matter of fact, and one started right on this bridge as a family witnessed a giant round orb floating above the water and then woke hours later down the road, in different positions in the car.  Namely, the grandmother was in the driver's seat but she no longer drove, and was definitely not driving that night.  No one could account for the missing time.
The covered bridge where light beams flooded the wooden planks of the Reed family car as they crossed that hot, summer Labor Day evening. 


Nerd Alert!
Admittedly awestruck and giddy to be out of town on a road trip, let alone sidetracked to an authentic UFO site!
It's official, UFO's exist!


The town was great, the hotel was cute and looked over the Green Mountains.  Everything was actually pretty dang wonderful. 


We picked up the booty and decided to stay the night.  There was a snow storm that was to hit the area and dump a good amount of snow and sleet, making conditions icy and dangerous.  I was tired, like the kind where you can only quietly watch bad movies.
That same night I become very ill, like a big veil of ookiness fell on the bed. I decided just to lay still while P played guitar and enjoyed his bounty.  I woke in the night to intense pain (close your ears if you're sensitive), urinating blood, so I woke P to say I needed to go to hospital.  Nothing a stoner wants to hear and never at 5 in the morning.  All bad things got worse quickly so instead of waiting for a clinic to open, we rushed 7 minutes away to the most beautiful hospital, atop a tree-lined hill through winding streets with this beautiful freshly fallen snow.  If I wasn't so miserable, I would have taken more pictures. 


Fairview Hospital Great Barrington
Not cute 
The ER doctor looked more concerned than you'd want and I think he may have believed I was beaten. He asked me who was 'that guy' I came in with and why wasn't he there now.  I told him the nurse said my husband had to wait in the car due to COVID protocol.  Later, while the super nice nurse moved my sleeve up, to take my blood pressure, she showed these bruises on her own arm that were the exact outline of a giant hand and possibly why the doctor was suspicious. Not wanting to assume anything myself, I could only imagine what brut grabbed her in such a violent manner.  Small town hospital with a story of it's own, how comforting in a strange way.  The doctor even insisted on looking at my abdomen after prodding and poking.  He kept saying, and you're sure you have no surgery scars or bruising?  They did a CT Scan and saw extreme bleeding in my bladder and gave me antibiotics for what he said may be the worst UTI he's ever seen if that was even what it was.  But to follow up right away with my doctor and a urologist to find out 'what's going on'.  Wait, I thought that was what he was gonna do.  It's hard to understand how it all works, especially when you're weak and groggy but since then, we have discovered, ER doctors make sure you're not dying.   They assess and stabilize you.   I was sent with prescriptions and lots of paperwork on drugs, alcohol, and domestic abuse.  
We stayed another night for me to rest and P made the romantic gesture of carving my name out of snow in the hotel parking lot.   I got right on the meds and pain killers.  


We were so excited to try the local fare but on that snowy night all that could be delivered was pizza.  It was great actually, and P was particularly impressed by the crust.  Family run businesses are usually the best and this was no exception.
Vivaldi's Pizzeria


Missing are pictures of nachos and cheese soup, chili and pot pies, pancakes and eggs.  Normally highlights for me but this time just bites of tasteless nothingness. 





A constant view of downed trees for miles and miles is a side story for another time.
Still, the trip was incredible and we managed to laugh about most of it and agreed it was memorable. 
We drove home the following day and 4 days later I had another ER visit and there was diagnosed with COVID. Again.