Thursday, August 27, 2020

Well I Can't Seem to Focus, and You Don't Seem to Notice I'm Not Here

Korean Take Out 2020
While watching the Category 4 Hurricane Laura touch down on land last night and before the street cameras all went out one by one, on a mutual nerd website, we saw that trucks were still going up and down this high bridge over Lake Charles in Louisiana.  We being, the hundreds of fellow weather geeks online.  We're talking. driving during these presumably over 100 mph winds, over water, high up, and in these big rigs, the kind that can tip in those types of winds.  The moderator laughs and says This guys, is 2020!!  You are looking at what is normal today.  Multiple people driving over a high bridge in a Cat 4 hurricane is the epitome of 2020, right there!  Everything is unexpected and people are doing bizarre things.  Then he says in his southern accent UnnnnnbelEEEEvable! He had to talk for hours doing this live coverage so I thought he may be getting loopy and not making sense.  I dozed off and figured I was in no rush to see the devastation but his words stuck with me all the next day.   I thought about how I too have said similar things lately, everyone has.  Things are so weird right now. But until now did I realize it was all happening in this monumental year, 2020.   All of this craziness, more than even I could have ever imagined.  How many times in a day do I say 'Hey man, this is a new time', 'we're living in new times, or Well, we have to adjust to this new world.  When people ask me why at work in their whiny customer tone, revolving around being inconvenienced or delays and they ask in such a way that I see reality has not yet crept into their lives and laid a giant crap on their forehead via sudden job loss, loss of a friend or relative, loved one or getting sick themselves and feeling like they were going to die.  How about the biggest city, you know the one we all live in..looking like a Ghat Damn ghost town, buddy!!??!! 5th Ave, Midtown...boarded up and desolate!  I go off into a manic rant,  Gee, let me see, I don't know, hmmmm, let me think.  Could it have anything to do with the fact that the WHOLE WIDE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN right now dude!!!??? in case you haven't noticed.   So, if your.... "nightstand" isn't in stock today, well let me just notify management so that we can all get busy to see what we can do about that!  I mean clearly it's a major priority! 
This is retail 2020! 
I mean, you see me don't you? Standing here in this freakin' space get-up fearing you or your snot nosed kids might reinfect me with this virus from the bowels of Satan!?   We're all a little inconvenienced right now my friend.  
Don't be scared though, because then I took a break to pee, to breathe and then breathed some more.  Breathing is everything.  All is well, tucked safely into my perfect vessel.   Meditation is similar to Quaaludes but without all the messy passing out and clothes falling off.  I get right much quicker now and the agony doesn't linger like it once did.  It's really hard to tell in this photo but I'm embracing the now, even with it's crack-pipe qualities.  Accepting what is.



Today I felt like take out, but something different.  I tried this new local Korean Chicken place Chic-hen.  Cute, but better yet, I loved it.  And even though the plate seems very sporadic, I assure you it's right in line with 2020!  I was able to kill two cravings presented to me this week.  The Extra Crispy Sticky Spicy Soy Sauce chicken was sweet retribution from a good home cooked platter of fried chicken porn sent from a bud and the other was my sister boasting of her perfect Chicken Fried Rice.  The Truffle fries were not the accompaniment you might expect but on the other hand, Truffle Oil is divine and should be on everything!  These were perfectly crispy.  The homemade side salad was a way to get in some raw vegetables for a fresh cool bite. 

Monday, August 24, 2020

Kept Thinking I Could Never Live Without You By My Side


Doesn't it seem like if the biggest city in America is desolate and boarded up on 5th Ave and Broadway that this would be big news.  At least talked about and covered with tons of opinion pieces?   It wasn't until a comedian wrote an Op-Ed on our inability to recover did anyone even mention the fact, that it's looking super bleak out here.  I'm going to take a day off in order to go again and see for myself but I've sent my roving reporter husband out and he confirmed it's as the video shows.  Manhattan is showing it's diversion from the other boroughs in this way though because even though there are certainly a multitude of moving vans in the Brownstone areas of Brooklyn, the rest of it is slowly coming back to life.  Thriving might be an overstatement but you can see how the different classes were impacted and how they each reacted. Instead of fleeing, there is a small chance better opportunities and fairer rents might exist again.  Manhattan affects everything though and subways and bus threats from the MTA could make life very difficult for millions.  But what you see on the day to day, is more folks out on the streets, running, walking dogs, with families, strollers back in full force.  With some of that new big money gone, the mix is feeling more pleasantly balanced again.  For a time it felt as though the super wealthy youth were taking over whole neighborhoods and in turn businesses reacted just as quickly, not only changing but removing what made those areas unique.   Now we're feeling a 70's vibe, simpler, less cyber and more down to earth but can it survive without all the big money players?  It's nice, not having to listen to people holding those power calls on the streets, with their business tones at high volume.   That's not what the boroughs were ever about but were quickly becoming.   
These giant square pizza slices tasted like a food trip back to the 70's. 
The changes are a mixed bag.  On our tiny block alone, several business have boarded up, most recently the Gay owned dress shop next door.  The restaurants in the last weeks have kicked into a new phase though with the German place even setting up a whole tented area in the new park square.  The pizza place that laid lifeless for weeks has new management and seems to be more consistent with their hours.  Brooklyn Moon had folks dancing on the sidewalks and have won the award for best outside dining experience (in my mind), providing live music, astroturf, a kiddie pool, umbrellas, and a cool motor home shaped like a air streamer, complete with awning out front.  Brooklyn Moon

Friday, August 21, 2020

TV's Got Them Images, TV's Got Them All

Due to watching an inordinate amount of free movies during the pandemic I've come to notice (more than ever before) that most of our mysteries and thrillers as well as horror movies revolve around young, pretty girls getting raped, tied up and beaten, savagely cut up, put in hostage situations, sexually promiscuous lesbians, whores chained in basements and it's no exaggeration.  I mean its a huge common theme.  So much so that's it disturbing to think about.  What's more is that I find myself enjoying many of them, the good ones.  I'm watching one right now, Frozen Ground.  I've seen it before.  I torture myself with bad Nicolas Cage movies, which is another story but wouldn't you know, it's about a serial murderer that targets young hooker dancers.  Actually, I knew because I picked it.  What does this say about us, that this could be entertainment? 
I don't feel deranged so I explain it by saying that it must be some bizarre fuel for our minds during uncertain times when our thoughts are filled with worry about incredibly scary but slightly less sensational things.  Maybe its therapeutic to process complicated deviant behavior in order to appease our brains. I mean, we're taking in so much reality right now.  So many people randomly getting accosted on the streets, thrown off subway tracks, stabbed from behind, shot down while walking a dog!  It has to go somewhere.  Maybe that's why we're so good at making these types of movies, even though many of the victims live on repeat as those cookie cutter stereotypes. Come to think of it, even the bad guys, the murderers and rapists are usually pretty over the top exaggerated versions of what most likely exists.  But in the good movies, the mains, our big Hollywood stars are capable of transforming into our best idea of calculated evil or at least the best hard working, big hearted detective that against all odds, solves the case at the last minute.  Not perfect but pretty darn satisfying.
We are a sick society, physically and mentally, it's fairly apparent at this point but it's weirder when you realize you're such a part of it.  I have to admit, just like the name evokes, Psychological Thrillers are my favorites, the freakier the better.  I need my brutality to come with a lot of mental side salad.
I guess to be fair, if you had to romanticize evil, murder, rape and chaining people in dark, wet, cold places is a good start.  I assume men write all of these stories, so it's interesting that the beautiful girls usually get smacked up and have to beg someone crying by the end in complete and utter desperation to be saved.  Interesting but not so surprising.  But if I had to be honest, its getting a little stale.  Perhaps with more women writers and movie makers we'll see next level variety soon.
Throwing fresh tomatoes into a stir fry for just a few moments turns them into an entirely different vegetable sensation.
Movies might be exorcise for our brains to utilize all these stored-up fears.  To begin and end all these random horrors we hear and read lurk just beyond our doors.
Sunny scenes from an after breakfast stroll.









Breakfast Migas

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

But There's Someone Who's Torn it Apart

Instead of having to consider an elaborate lunch I've been lazy in making Big Boy breakfast plates.  These definitely stick to your stomach and sometimes that's all I'll need to eat or just a snack later.  My little gut has not been the same since the 'rona.  I've eaten far less healthy too due to being at work during most meals. My entire body has not caught up yet but we all know my stomach and mind are besties and one affects the other.  The thought of food lately has felt more a chore than anything fun and exciting.  That's not normal for me.
In an equally strange occurrence, especially since we just witnessed the tree down the street crack from the storm and joked that our tree was gonna come crashing down on our living room that day, well wouldn't you know it almost did just a week later.  I came out to the kitchen to cook breakfast, looked out the window and noticed the branches were a pale whitish-green color.  On closer inspection it was because a huge branch was turned upside down. It had cracked and was left hanging onto our neighbors outdoor furnishings.  I texted them immediately but they were out of town.  I couldn't believe it.  Was this an omen?  They use their outdoor space all the time and it could have been deadly, for them.  But somehow it felt like the message was for us.  This is when you realize we try to make life make sense.  We joked about it falling and the branch did split days later.  But trees have been falling around town, old 70 to 100 year old trees.  It rained again last night, so it wasn't such a stretch.  Then again, if it strikes a nerve, maybe it's useful.  So my best dime store psychology read is; we're a very lucky couple of people in that we see a ton of bad things that could happen to us, occur regularly.  It's only that one tiny moment in nature that makes it so.  But luck can't last forever or usually doesn't, so we're on notice. I suppose you could say that's true for all of us always but especially right now. Somehow we put this thing in overdrive.  Other friends and family have relayed similar thoughts that of course we're all having.  You certainly can't ignore that we're living in the cone of uncertainty and we can't afford to remain frivolous.  I won't pretend to know exactly what that means but whatever is coming, feels like it's getting closer, becoming louder, more real, impossible to ignore.  Or it's just another blip on the universal radar.
Biden GIFs | Tenor




I had P go down and move the furniture for the neighbors
Later, they came and assessed the damage.

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Got to Keep The Loonies On the Path

Yes, another taco bowl
P was to come home this night from his trip to Kentucky.  I woke with an eerie sense, as if chaos in nature had occurred.  That's the feeling I had, but what it meant I did not know.  We broke out of our 5th heatwave that night and it dropped 30 plus degrees for one, which was incredible but also very strange as if we were immediately in Fall.  The brightest sun we've seen was replaced with a gray, dark morning sky.  I needed a jacket and anyone who's lived through this summer knows it's been deathly hot for weeks and weeks.  Plus it was raining.
I got myself to work early, there was no one around except this man that hangs around the building in the morning.  He doesn't appear homeless, he dresses in clean clothes and I've seen him talking to security before, so he's not completely insane.   However, he's out there almost every day in the winter hours before the store opens and he just stands there by the bike racks, and he's huge, football player huge!  I ride up and everytime he sees me he starts laughing..... hysterically, with full mouth blow outs of chuckles.  At first I would say to him, 'hey, what's so funny?' but as soon as I did his eyes would gloss over and he'd switch to his own frequency, a dimension where I did not exist, apparently.   I'll have to film this sometime because it's gone on for about a year.  I went from fearing he was gonna kill me to trying to hand him money. I had not seen him for a couple of months but of course on this odd day, he's there.  I find him sitting in the front this time and I use one of the two benches to take off my bike gear.  He's on the other. I'm making side eye checks, making sure he's not worse as we're the only ones on the planet it seems.  Red Hook can feel so desolate and secluded at night and in the mornings.   As I'm dealing with my insecurities over his smirking giggling reactions to me, all the sudden these balloons come blowing from God knows where and we both stop and watch them roll all the way down the street like a tumbleweed.  It felt so out of place, these bright happy balloons on this gray cold rainy day.  Then suddenly a giant black bird, I thought could be a hawk it was so big, soars down and low, circles us and then lands in a tree across the street at the community farm.  He's having a fit over something and I realize he's been gawking this whole time.  He hops down to the sidewalk like a vulture before he ends up flying past us and lands on the top of one of the cranes.  I stand up to watch him and then look back at the man looking right at me.  I say 'Dang, that is one big bird!' and he just starts nodding and laughing like it was the funniest thing he's heard all year but before I could say another thing, his eyes glossed over again and he was gone. 


I walked up the four flights to clock in but instead of a security guard holding a temperature gun poking out of a glory hole behind plexiglass, I was greeted with a new standing robot machine that automatically takes our temperature and talks to us.  You must acknowledge that you have not been sick, you have not been out of town, various questions that must all be no or you cannot be admitted.  We are somewhat now in our own new dimensions. 

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Cause I Can't Get It Out of My Head


Let Me Make You Famous”: How Hollywood Invented Ben Shapiro ...
Ben Shapiro

I have a guilty pleasure that has grown a bit in the last year.  It's Ben Shapiro.  If you read this blog, you would know that I have a big affection for the Jewish people as well as common traits that many carry.  I'm pretty sure it's still okay to state positive generalizations of people. One is their ability to argue points without emotion, something that was foreign to me before I moved to New York.  Back in San Francisco, passion was behind everything, to a fault, and it took me by surprise that people here could debate a point with such clarity but didn't get upset if you won the argument.  People perfectly willing and unafraid to state what they believe but equally able to listen and scrutinize your points, until they either conceded or in turn convinced me, sometimes even just agreeing to disagree.  I found that such a beautiful clean way to discuss and learned a great deal.  Another thing about some New York Jews is the speed of their speech and thought.  They leave my brain in a spin most days and as I've mentioned before I've needed to up my fact game at work on the materials and benefits, features of our products or be called out.  Most folks will accept or not question twice about a response I pull out of my arse and I admit, sometimes I get lazy or don't want to say that I don't know.  But not with these Hasidic Jewish mothers, every detail must make sense to them and they will break you down until it does.  The best of all things is when you spar with them and are able to come back strong with each answer and by the end, they shake their head, smiling, thanking you for your time, almost like the match has ended and they appreciated such a lively game.   Several dozens over the years have thanked me in such a manner, said things like 'you're such a smart girl, you know your stuff'.  I never know whether to feel insulted that they were so surprised or happy that I actually passed.  That after 20 minutes of discussion about one cabinet that I'm finally dismissed, noticing their 5 kids staring at me all in the same outfits. 
Ben Shapiro displays similar qualities.  He's far from perfect and many times very distant from my opinion but once in a while I'll completely agree with him but in all the cases, I really enjoy listening to his logic.  Probably even more when I disagree because it helps me to define my own train of thought. I think his weaknesses are due to his age and life experience but I like him.  My mate says that'll get me cancelled.  I listen to Jordan Peterson too with some of the same reasoning.  I don't agree with Peterson always either but he's a healthier counterbalance to the current 3 year old take on things by much of the media.  We all crave a good civilized conversation or op-ed without all the boring 'gotcha take down'.   Honestly, I always thought the democratic party would make complete mince meat of the likes of Trump and all his slimy cohorts since he was especially horrible at stating his rationale and has zero public speaking prowess.  Or that his own party would never stand for such violations of decency.  I figured together we'd come with a quick end to the nonsense but in the most classy way, with strong data, emotionless reasoning and fact based humility.  The last thing I would have ever believed is that someday we'd all be in the same muck, void of any proper social conduct. Maybe that's what I admire about these two.  Many of us have to make real efforts to keep all this nonsense out of our heads each day lest it seep in and penetrate our own behavior.  It all has effects on our health and we're fighting it more each day.
Right now in the hottest summer, during a Pandemic, in a major city that is showing signs of speedy decline, I can only control my own reactions.  Tired and burnt, I combatted the heat with this Wendy's Mock Shake that was incredibly refreshing and delicious.  Much better than I remembered and with no guilt!  

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

New York City Blues, East Side West Side Lose

Chicken That Time Forgot
This chicken was delicious!  I remember using Hoisin, garlic, ginger, soy, honey and lemon, red pepper flakes for the glaze but have no recollection of how I made it, I believe stove top because it's a thousand degrees out.  I keep trying to think back, did I brown them first, marinate??? All memory lost.
I do recall taking my lunch break and watching this scene unfold earlier that day.  A city bus stopped and everyone got off.  They all looked as though they've witnessed something gross.  They disperse and the bus driver comes out, and stands outside.  Police arrive a few minutes later.  They talk a minute and then the two officers put gloves on and proceed to enter the back of the bus.  For those of you not familiar, city buses now divide the driver from the passengers with big vinyl curtains.  Everyone enters through the back and it's free.  This will end soon I'm told.  A few minutes later a man emerges.  They distance from him, and he seems to be arguing but they look calm.  They keep pointing as if to tell him to move on but he stays, so they talk further.  He lingers.  I think back on all this police reform stuff that I don't really know enough to talk about but I did read that in some cases instead of sending cops, some sort of social worker would come to aide in cases like this.  I'm assuming that this person has mental issues, something we're seeing so much more everywhere, as if everyone's program ended at once.  Maybe these officers have no tools except to ask him to to move on.  Maybe he took a dump on the bus or exposed himself, it's hard to say but by the looks of the folks exiting, it wasn't pleasant and the bus was taken out of order.  He looks perfectly normal, so maybe it was sexual in nature.  More rapists and gropers have made the news lately.   Maybe he pulled a Louis CK. Hopefully it was nothing that dramatic.  By the time I cleaned up and looked down again, the scene had ended.