Sunday, October 28, 2018

When You're Feeling Down and Your Resistance is Low

For a couple of months this fall our restaurant at work went out of commission.  Nothing worked and we were told stories of new equipment that needed to be made or pipes that had burst.  Other folks told chilling tales of infestations and detailed accounts of rats falling from the ceiling.  Then an official statement was sent as to what to say to customers and more importantly, what they were going to serve in the staff cafeteria for my belly!  And it was good.  They would cater in food from neighborhood businesses.  My favorite being El Mexicano.  A banquet set up of all their offerings and 3 meats, including this almost sweet shrimp concoction that the kids just couldn't get enough of as well as 3 different types of hot sauce.  I had to pace myself because I wanted to do some serious damage to that bar by lunchtime.  But you live and learn.  Go slow, don't be a glutton, choose wisely and enjoy it.  Be in the moment when you're devouring this amazing dream food.  This is a treat. 
When I like something a great deal, it's hard not to obsess over it and overindulge.  Tough not to completely envelope myself in it. I try so hard.  But as you live this life, the awesomeness is less and less.  The thrills are fewer and farther in between.  What was once a fun-filled daily ride is now a grind, a tiring grind, sometimes devoid of any fun at all.  You come to realize that all those flowers along the road were not permanent.  Things from the past that bring you pleasure are treasured keepsakes that you store in your mind and bring them out to admire and adore in private moments. 
But it's sad because those things are gone now, dead for all intents and purposes from my real life.  But all the what could be's are waiting for me, supposedly.  I read that on some meme.  I still want to believe it's true but sometimes in these moments of lost faith I just see myself as walking the earth like a corpse, a shadow of what I once was or could have been.

A pizza slice is the image of hope later that night.

Saturday, October 27, 2018

I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm

Ham, Peas and Swiss Cheese Spaghetti Squash
Lawdy this was so good I thought I might cry.  Some extra sprinkles of bread crumbs all toasty tasting on the top.  Hot from the oven, the cheese melted over those peas with the saltiness of the ham and the buttery 'squaghetti'.  It is certainly a good reminder that the good Lord really threw us a bone when he gave us the gift of creativity and art. How psyched was the first artisan to make ham. Preserving and curing it, smoking it.  Or cheese.  Actually that story is a little weird as it was found in the stomachs used to transport milk thousands of years ago on hot days. It curdled, they added salt - you get the picture.  Doesn't sound appetizing now but who can resist a good Manchego or Gouda today?  How happy was the first person to crack open this squash and decide to roast it and mix the strands with butter or a sauce.  The joy and art of cooking is a blessing with instant rewards and I am so forever grateful for it.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Pesto Chicken Spaghetti Squash

Pesto Chicken Spaghetti Squash
I love when an idea comes around without a ton of pre-thought. I had these gigantic squash and they're so good with just marinara sauce as you know but I also had roasted chicken thighs that I wanted to incorporate.  This was a day I wanted warm and homey, not spicy and tangy. Normally I make my own pesto but discovered they carry a handy pre-packaged version at my corner store, so I tossed the squash, added lemons and fresh basil, peas and then topped with the chicken and Parmesan. Such an excellent way to use a slight bit of cheese with a lot of punch. Also a bonus, it's a full meal in it's own container.
One half serves two and then some, so you can scoop out the portions table-side.  Be sure to get all of those delightful strands because yes, they are that good.
This one surprised me. A great similar recipe

Thursday, October 25, 2018

I've Got Nothing to Say But It's Okay

Good Morning!
Quick poached eggs over roasted potatoes and ham.  This works when your yolks break open and flow like a yellow river over the lot.  They provide their own sauce. The tomato and cilantro are like confetti fun in your mouth.  Breakfast is so special.  Some people don't eat breakfast. That's so sad.  I'm the most hungry in the morning.  And lunch.  I could skip dinner and always felt it was too serious of a commitment.  Hate the word supper.  Sounds heavy and mean.  Lunch and breakfast is far more light and happy.  If your mind is most sharp upon waking then my taste buds and stomach are also super 'woke' in the morning too. Every sense gets roused and fueled up.

She Might Need a Lotta Lovin' But She Don't Need You

My intent this year was to rid myself of things that do not like me back.  You have to ask yourself, if it doesn't make you feel good, why is it in your life?  What is it about that cookie or plate of white pasta that I can't resist?  That I would risk getting so sick or befriend a food that would immediately treat me like shit.  Similar to alcoholism, every day is new and I have to remind myself to eat food that makes me feel healthy, that stays friendly the entire trip through my body.  Eat food that doesn't hurt me.
I could easily scarf down fast food burgers and fries without repercussion in the past.  Now the bread gives me horrible headaches and the french fries give me rot gut.
Garlicky baked fries are so good and you won't miss all the oil.  get your garlicky baked fries here  A lettuce burger with avocado, onions and tomatoes makes you forget the warm toasty bun with the grilled crusty edges and the buttery flavor.  Oh man.
And the same with humans.  Likes, clicks of approval, hand clap emojis

Image result for emojis of hand claps
and the raining down of 100%'s are so comforting to my pathetic side.  But this is liking to be liked.  Giving to get, no genuine.  In the end though, we need actual human contact. People need physical touch and real feels.  We need folks to like us and be kind to us, not use us.  Genuinely appreciate us for who we are not what we can offer.  We need friends to be just that and not have to beg to hang or be selfish with affections.  Everyone merits that, at least.  But just like food, sometimes people treat you poorly.   And here we are so driven to fill all these empty pails inside of us, that sometimes we allow it.  We sure seem to need a lot of what we think of as love, even if its hard to understand the differences sometimes between the good and bad kind.
One great way to fill your own hole is to walk
walk until your mindset changes
it almost always happens
Similar to dreams, there is nothing like random reality to switch your gears...
...take your mind off of the emptiness

What would 'Ol Dirty Bastard do?

Some people fill their voids with chickens.

The best you can do sometimes is to just try to distract yourself like you would a 4 year old, tire yourself out...

Breakfast with potatoes and bacon is really good at weighting that bucket.
Learn a song on the Ukulele and sing it over and over .