It's Oh So Quiet

The Mind of an Introverted Chef

I've been obsessing with the Mind of a Chef Netflix series.  I passed over that graphic a million times imagining what type of show existed but I was dead wrong. It's interesting, not redundant, not annoying. It's informative, but not too pretentious.  It's been sort of inspiring just when I gave up on food shows.  Listening to young chefs overthinking food could be considered obnoxious but at least it helps continue the conversation in my own head.  I like hearing what the younger set feels about food.  

Heeding all the stories of these individual successful young chefs has made me consider the inner workings of my own introverted mind in relation to cooking.  First of all, I don't like cooking for people anymore which admittedly is very strange.  If and when I cook for other's it feels almost too intimate for me.  And that is annoying. Of course I cook for P regularly but other than that its been only family.  In the past, I would make big spreads for close friends and we'd throw lots of small parties and I experimented with various appetizers. I wasn't as confident or skilled but much more outgoing.  Another difference is all the thought that goes into the why's of the meal.  Some days I just eat but whenever there is time I like to have a reason for eating what I make. Part of the appeal is all the rationale behind it.  Its surprising just how much regard is given to insignificant meals actually.

I recently watched the episode on Indian food and recalled the super tasty lunches I had with the Virgin buyers at this little hole in Times Square.  I was going to the doctor's on the upper east side and I became so fixated on tasting that Saag Paneer, spinach with homemade cheese cubes that I had to talk P into coming along.  And to my surprise, he did!  We traipsed around Central Park beforehand and worked up a good appetite walking across town. 

On the way back back we braved the overwhelming grossness that is Times Square to grab plates of this delicious food from my past.  Food can mean something.  It can be a memory or it can be what it was today, a new experience shared with someone special. 

In addition to not enjoying cooking for others, overthinking my meals and connecting dishes to deep emotions, I'm also holding internal post reviews on the dishes.  What could I do better?  What didn't work?  How could I change that up for next time?  Who would like this that I love?  I'm always keeping in mind loved ones for a special occasions.  And since no one lives in New York, I end up making the dish and eating it while thinking of them in my heart.