What Looks Good in the Day, At Night Is Another Thing

Another day in lockdown.  It's interesting just how grateful you are to be alive when you begin feeling better from this virus, when you start seeing the light at the end of your breathing hole.  Hoping to hang on to that gratitude.  Happy that you can take deep breaths.  Happy when your chest doesn't ache all day.  When your gut doesn't clench up and twist.  When you walk around and realize you don't have to sit back down right away.  All these amazing ways our body functions without even having to think twice about it. 

While in the rough stages, I described to P how I was so surprised how many ways this virus tried to screw with my body.  He tried to be considerate but probably just wanted me to shut up and maybe in the back of his mind thought I was exaggerating.  I don't blame him, I mean what did we know just a couple of weeks ago? At that time it was cough, fever and shortness of breath - end of story, but now we hear a variety of ways it tries to attack your system.  Especially with my shortness of breath and chest pain, that was a real nail biter and I struggled to know how far was too far to let it go.   Now as he comes into the throes, he's feeling the sharper pains and scary air shortage more often and so I suspect in a couple of days, it's gonna hit him harder and harder as it did with me.  He'll also be super surprised and want to share how it can be so bad and then seemingly go away, only to return in a few hours.  He is going to have a few scares and I hope and pray nothing more but they are enough to really change your tune.  It's frightening and odd enough that he'll need to share it too.  These are all things I know but have to be super cool about and not be an I told you so jerk.  I mean, I have to be bigger about it or I'm just as bad.  But somewhere inside, after he's completely in the clear,  I'll have some dark gratification that I'm not proud of. 

I added real pasta to my squash today to make it heartier and more fulfilling. 

Leftover Squash and Pasta Puttenesca