Friday, April 3, 2020

She Tears the Hole Up Even Wider

In New York right now, if you've a virus with symptoms similar to COVID-19, I think it's safe to assume you have it.  More than a few of us are monitoring each other daily here. The spread is increasing like a wildfire and you have to assume so many people have it but aren't getting tested so as not to clog up our health care workers.  Reading a million threads after having shortness of breath and chest pains increase over a couple of weeks I saw that fever is not always present in folks diagnosed, nor is a persistent cough.  Major chills and sweats I guess is indication of fever but without a thermometer, you fear it's in your head.  But last night I did have a fever dream, at first very pleasant.  Everything felt so soft, like all worries were gone and I floated in a room.  I felt so clean. It was someone else's house that had antique furniture, rugs and lamps. No one had been there for a long time. An old friend was there and we had a beautiful celebration but after some discussion things became dark.  My friend informed me that I had a hole in my lungs, actually I think they said in my heart but when I went to look down at where they were pointing, my body became the cartoon drawing I recently viewed online of infected lungs. As I heard this news I tried to take in a deep breath but the air came out the hole instead, I looked down and as nightmares sometimes happen, lots of stuff happened that I can't remember or comprehend once awake but I can tell you it was awful.  All I know is I was gasping when I shot straight up out of bed drenched in sweat.
I woke up and made a list of everyone I want to keep in touch with and have made it through many of them and thankfully it's a longer one than I expected.  You could center on the death around you or you can give love to those who are living and special to you in your life.
And you can carefully attempt what you often get wrong, like migas.  I made my own chips out of fresh corn tortillas.  I used the last bit of my homemade hot sauce to flavor the chips, added cheese, jalapeno, and cilantro and roasted sausage to the eggs. 

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