Monday, April 10, 2017

Life in the Fast Lane

Taco Salad Bowl
This was one of the first fresh type dinners of the spring.  Still some hot but also cool refreshing things like avocado and tomato, some berries.  Meals change like the seasons.
Also I'll be able to photograph food in natural light again.  That always makes it look better.  You know what else changes in spring? New bikers.  Thousands of new bikers.  Couples riding in tandem.  And the absolute worst, Citi-bikers in their no helmet wearing casual strides.  I'm not a snob. I'm just a commuter, trying to get to work quickly and without hassle.  I'm not all geared up and clicked in with matching multicolored pants.  But I will say this.  Citi-bikers are dangerous.

They are either going way too slow and unaware that they are actually in traffic, or they are hauling ass with those big ole' beach combers. Problem is, they are unable to stop on a dime as you will need to do lots of times.  They're writing checks their ass can't cash.  Here is my suggestion.  I feel in order to rent one of those things, you must have a dedicated number of clocked road hours, preferably spent in the parks, away from humans that matter.  I don't want to see your high-heeled, skirt-wearing ass on my streets until I know that you have fallen on that sweet little bottom out there once or faced death as a cab passenger casually almost doored you. Perhaps you came this close to your face stopping a school bus or a pedestrian text zombie caused you to catch a mini stroke as they walked aimlessly into traffic without warning.  Until that time and only then have you fully realized how shit is real out here and yes you could be flattened in a hot second. I've seen it.  Drivers are not your friends. In fact, they hate you.  Or at the very least resent you and no they don't share the road.  They will bully you straight into a mac truck if it will get them through that light faster.  And don't fool yourself, bike lanes mean nothing.
And another thing.  You are not cool and you are not in Europe.  Your shit is awkward looking.  So just keep it simple. Pay attention and don't try advanced stuff out there because it's super annoying.  I want this to work.  More bikes mean better bike lanes and that's all a good thing.  There's room out here for all of us knuckleheads.  But I need to get to my destination without being taken down by a giant blue tank in flipflops.
And let's just assume you know better then to get on one of those things at night.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?