Monday, April 25, 2022

Light Em Up and Watch Them Burn, Teach Them What They Need to Learn

Springtime coming in strong 
Everyone take their seats and enjoy these lovely photos of spring blooming in Brooklyn before I tell a dark tale. 

This is a tale of the death of my old, warped, cheap-ass sheet pan that lasted forever and did me good for years, how I got a new cast iron one, that doesn't fit in my oven and how this is all related to the Johnny Depp Defamation case.   Good luck!  I have no idea how this will connect but it's a morning writing exercise for me and I aim to do well.

One night I came home late, was hungry but didn't want to make a meal.  I took some store bought chips and this odd pre-sliced jalapeno jack cheese that we never buy.  I put the chips, cheese and pickled jalapenos under the broiler to make quick no fuss nachos.  Only a minute passed before they suddenly became inflamed, like foot tall blazing flames pouring out of the broiler.  When I realized the fire wasn't going out even after I turned everything off, I yelled for help.  The blaze continued, getting even higher, it was wild.  Covering the combustion with wet rags didn't extinguish but finally after several frantic attempts, together, we put the fire out and were able to handle the pan.  No nachos were to be had this night and the pan was toast.  It was time, this had been coming for awhile. This pan was bad from the start, was never a quality product and I should not have used it to broil.  I was being cheap.  I continued to use it well beyond it's expiration date, after it warped, after it began smelling like kerosene.  
I bought a new pan, of sturdy cast iron.  Being 15" x 10" I was sure it would fit nicely into my 24" oven.  All was well. Only, it doesn't fit in my oven but I can force it diagonally, so I'll probably live with this nonsense for too long.  I don't learn easily or smoothly.

Amber Heard was always too young for Mr Depp and it was ignorant of him to start a marriage with someone who clearly was not the right fit.  Emotionally though, perhaps they were better matched as he seemed to be stunted in that area regarding jealousy and relationship behavior. despite his age.  They could now live out high school era shenanigans, for better or worse in the privacy of one of his many dwellings.  But when you keep ignoring blatant signs of actual trouble, you set yourself up for future blow-outs, like these blackened nachos.  It was inevitable this would end badly for them.  We all choose our own suffering in some respect, even though we can't see it all the time.  My pan was old and not in good shape.  The new cheese had some chemical perhaps they add to keep the slices from sticking and together they created a burning pit of fire.  

A gold-digging, psychologically-damaged hottie mixed with an aging, beloved actor who was primed to deal with his demons in the most dramatic, drawn out, drug-induced way possible is definitely a recipe for disaster.  
If I put this bitch in catty-cornered, she works but in the future I'll measure the inside dimensions.

And similar to my new durable pan that's near perfect, but doesn't quite fit, Johnny may not find or even choose the right woman the next time but it's how he deals with those obstacles that will determine if he's learned anything. 

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