We have reached a level of media intake that has proven to be a game changer. Its become more and more blatantly apparent that almost every single media source is cashing in on getting everyone more and more riled up at their rivals. Yet despite all the opposition, most of us seem to be living the same life alongside the 'others' as before. Slightly different problems but much of the same basic ones. It's all left me exhausted mentally. I'm two minutes online just wanting to chat with friends about music or see my nieces and nephews and boom! A story or commentary, and that little hatred seed gets watered, the bud starts to form. Two minutes ago I was full of love and now I'm feeling judgmental or indignant. This can't be good for anyone.
I am shutting out the media and pumped in news. Last year I was convinced you could just weed out the bad and concentrate on all the good endorphin-inducing connections. But that theory has moved south. Some people can and I commend them.
Not only this but we have reduced living in the actual world by about 40-50 percent if I had to be honest. I don't want that of my life. Maybe it serves its purpose during the winter months. I'm for movies and YouTube browsing, looking into information, but all the rest is feeling like crack potato chips.
I am spending unacceptable amounts of time reading stuff that only makes me upset, mad or hateful. And the fact that I can't stop is scaring me. Addictive unhealthy behavior. Its right there like a living heartbeat. I reach out to make contact with something, but what is it? Whatever it is, it feeds me those tiny morsels of endorphins that we all need so badly but you don't notice all the poison you're ingesting with them.
Just now, I look at my phone. My sister didn't answer back yet so I checked the news and within minutes I am now consuming the fact that a border patrol agent in Montana harassed two women for speaking Spanish in a convenience store and no other reason. What do you do with that? Injustice after injustice or hate speech after hate speech. I don't want to read snide clever commentary anymore either. Its not helping our situation. We are still the 99%, whether you're a big fat racist or a baby killer or more likely just some person who is trying to live their good life. Why aren't we joining forces? Everything is corrupt and broken around us and we're all blaming each other? How is this any different than the very same 10 year old behavior that we find repugnant from the president?
This has me so hangry. I had to make Grilled Italian Toasties today with salami, pepperoni and Provolone cheese. Apple, avocado and arugula salad side.
I can't get to a forest, but some mornings I try to tree bath even if it's in the scary park by my work.
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