Never Seein' No One Nice Again, Like You, Mama

Today and the upcoming weeks and months will be difficult and hard not to go downward spiraling into the abyss.  I always come back up.  I have no fear of staying but working back up to happy is not so easy and nothing I look forward to.  My mom would have been 95 today.  I took the day off because I knew I'd be worthless.  And I was. The consolation is that my sisters and nieces are feeling similarly.  We can poke and prod each other along like the elephants.  You know you'll get through it but its about so much more than that now.  Grief is a thick, layered process.  People go away, pass on but you're not necessarily given anyone in return.  No one to fill the size of holes left anyway.  Suddenly you realize there is less love in your world.  And then you have to be with that fact for awhile.  That's where I'm at now.

P took a bike ride and brought me home a King David Taco.  I became excited that it was a New York Jewish taco business and that would cheer me up. After research turns out its an Austin couple who named it after the dad that loaned them money. Someone in the story is Jewish though.  Austin style breakfast burritos.  They tasted great, as egg usually does when wrapped in a tortilla.  Was it exceptional?  Probably not, but I liked the wrapper and the fact they sealed it with a sticker.  They'll do well.  It's a cute idea, one of thousands here in the city.   Those holes are much easier to fill.

The best thing that can happen when you feel like old cheese is to have a huge rain storm and we did later that day.