What's It All About, Alfie?

How sweet is this? Candy coated strawberries and grapes.

There is a cool cat at work named Reggie, who could be Snoop Dogg's grandmother.  She's over 76, tall and lean, wears bright yellow high tops and has a stride as smooth as Larry David.  In her delightful deep, raspy voice, she offers me a free sample of her daughter's fruit and sugar laced creations.  I love strawberries so this was a welcome treat.

Every emotion that comes out of this woman feels contrived and deceptive but Johnny needs to stop laughing.  I want to slap them both at this point.

That's the way the Johnny Depp Defamation trial feels, like someone just gave me a giant, delicious, red strawberry.  Its unclear why it's so satisfying.  It's escapism with a twist of realism. I have the tiniest of doubt there is an actual abuse story in this heap of random falsehoods.  Testimony from real victims of domestic violence looks much different.  However, Hollywood really needs a special set of rules for evaluating these types of accusations.  The stakes become more complicated when people become commodities.  There could be ulterior motives, much to gain, financially and power oriented plays.  Timing could also be very key for these folks that need to control their image at specific times.  This particular starlet carries all the perfect ingredients for exactly this type of assorted nonsense.   When the very gracious, Believe all Women chant began, many people knew this was coming, the predictable opportunist.  The #MeToo movement was sure to release the Kraken of all scorned women as society is clearly producing more dregs in every sex.    

I've watched more of the trial than I care to admit and it's a drag to hear the grotesque personal relationship banter that was normal for both of them. Johnny's drug abuse at a particular time is extreme but not significant unless this is the time he became violent and broke his normal persona.  I have a smidgen of doubt because there is a difference in a person who's doing coke versus opiates and Amber speaks of this, possibly honestly.  Speedy drugs with high amounts of alcohol might prime you to become violent.  His bodyguards and managers said Johnny had a super high tolerance for alcohol.  I've known a lot of drunks and druggies though I've never known that combination, someone so low key and overly polite that once high would be capable of rape and the most atrocious violence.  In all of my experience, passives prefer heroin, sinking further into numbness.   But its also hard to grasp the woman who would outright lie about something so extremely heinous.  She has no credible evidence despite being a serial photographer and recorder of her relationship.  That is hard to believe.   It's hard to get passed the fact that she never sought treatment for bleeding of the vagina for example, after being raped with a broken bottle, or that someone making money off her looks wouldn't go have a broken nose checked out.  She's described living through real life action scenes from Die Hard movies, yet suffered injuries no one even noticed.  Again, if her accounts are not true, what kind of monster falsely accuses someone of such serious crimes and then claims to still love them?  I watched two hours of a group of body language experts saying this was the only time in decades of experience, that they were unanimous in certainty that Amber's testimonies hold massive deception and lies. 

Life is hard right now, also unclear why it feels that way.  Sure, there is impending doom most areas you look, whether it be violence near you, disease around the corner, weather disasters, drought, war, inflation. Many dark clouds hover over us.  Still, nothing feels normal anymore, even though some days are uneventful.  Time feels different under the surface.  I can't help but notice much of what happens in the physical plane feels senseless, slightly meaningless all of the sudden.  This shit is broken, this way we're living life right now.  

I hear educated, respectable people discussing this now.  Even though it scares the bejesus out of me, I hold a lot of faith we are being forced to shift directions, to experience life from a different angle.  Life truly is only a birdsong, as Johnny said in his Depposition.  It isn't about getting money and better looking houses.  Brazilian butts are not the answer.  Cheek implants are not going to bring us closer to knowing love.  Revenge and self righteousness is hollow.  I believe in my gut the human experience can be incredibly satisfying if we could just be slapped awake.  Not woke, but awake. 

All of this new violence and deceit, contempt, in pretty packages in the guise of being strong, are all part of this sick monster.  I want no part of this.  But philosopher's say we are part of it, no matter how we may want to distance ourselves.  This ugliness is in us too and we must recognize it with as much mercy as we can muster.

In that way, I am only watching minimal parodies of this trial, even though YouTube is flooding my feed with hilarious 'take downs'.  Instead, I'm trying to consider how painful, even if she's outright lying, this must be for Ms. Heard.  There is a hell in there somewhere.  That isn't something I'd wish even on a lying sack.  Then, on the other hand in the oddest case that this bad-acting, no-evidence-producing-lunacy is true, how horrible to live through such intense scrutiny and see the offender protected and loved by the masses.  

Anyway you slice this shit pie, it's a sad mirroring of us, society, the world today, and how we process it through our individual minds does matter.  

What's it all about, Alfie
Is it just for the moment we live
What's it all about when you sort it out, Alfie
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind
And if only fools are kind, Alfie
Then I guess it's wise to be cruel
And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie
What will you lend on an old golden rule
As sure as I believe there's a heaven above, Alfie
I know there's something much more
Something even non-believers can believe in
I believe in love, Alfie
Without true love we just exist, Alfie
Until you find the love you've missed you're nothing, Alfie
When you walk let your heart lead the way 

And you'll find love any day, Alfie, Alfie