It's Time to Live in the Scattered Sun

Maya Taqueria Delivery - Carne Asada bowl.  I love this idea, a Mexican Rice bowl.  I used to make these at my dad's restaurant when I was a kid wandering the kitchen before they had a name.  It's another great candidate for a lunch box meal but you could fortify it with more vegetables. I will attempt soon and report back!

An Everything taco and two carne asada tacos for mi compadre

Spring happens even when you're not looking

Spring is revitalizing in so many ways but one that always takes me by surprise is how after a good rain, the leaves on the trees seem to fill their branches overnight leaving giant green canapes. Suddenly there is shade on the streets and the air is filled with life again!  Colors everywhere pop up as if they were black and white in the winter.  The difference the visual makes on the psyche is significant.  

Love Me Twice Today

Freaks like me know that projects are important to have lest the demons find their way into your soul during idol moments.  The best times are when you can juggle a few at a time.  I am currently immersed in lunch lady land, preparing boxed lunches and meals as a grab and go option due to busy diverse schedules.  The theme is you can go to the refrigerator or freezer at any time and grab a prepared meal.  In 2022 I think that looks like one container.  Ease, simplicity, combos, mash-ups, vegetables-protein couplings that satisfy and delight.  

In order to do so, you can make giant pots of something you love and portion it out. So today, I made both a hearty turkey chili and a mash up of Arroz con pollo and

Calabasa con pollo.  Our family argues how the latter is made, with fresh tomatoes or tomato sauce.  But its a savory zucchini, corn, and braised chicken that is best sopped up with freshly made flour tortillas and topped with cilantro.  Traditionally, it's served with Mexican rice so why not make it all in one pot?  And why not have it for lunch when it would taste dreamlike?  

Calabasa Arroz Con Pollo

A sampling of both dishes was served for dinner. 

No Time to Wallow in the Mire

Hope's fire 

My pal called me last night at 5:30am in what sounded like a very crowded, noise stricken, city street.  We were in a big storm so the wind and rains must have made her trials compounded.  I could barely make out her words but understood enough to know she was in a dire emergency.  Buildings were on fire and she apparently had to evacuate.  It wasn't clear if it was her building. I could only make out that she was on the corner waiting to understand the extent.  Later she was down the street at a shelter on Avenue B.  The fire department must have moved the evacuees to dry ground.  I understood later why she chose not to come straight to my apartment, as I suggested.  She needed to understand if her building was safe and if she would be allowed to reenter.  Can you imagine it?  The beautiful church just two or three doors down entirely went up in flames as did the corner building, where it most likely started.  What a harrowing experience.  I could only imagine the shock of firemen pounding on her door, waking in such a brutal way, seconds to gather your essentials meaning phone, wallet and shoes.  As it is, getting a phone call in the middle of the night is never easy and within seconds, your mind goes to the worst scenarios.  Not to mention a sleepy mind is so slow in comprehending anything.  Within seconds we were both standing in the living room, P in my ear saying who is it, what's the matter, what's going on and I was only able to spit out short spurts, It's Hope. There's a fire. She's on the street.  I heard him say, tell her to come here, before muttering, What time is it? and drifting off. 

The phone laying near my ear gave updates periodically and finally at around 9am she was able to reenter her building, deemed unharmed.   I drifted in and out of sleep in between texts and wrestled with thoughts of guilt and gratitude that I was safe in my warm bed when my bud was out there in the middle of the night not knowing if she would lose all her possessions, during a major fire, in a Pandemic, in a Nor'Easter, in this travesty we call 2020.  What a prophetic sounding ordeal.  It could have changed her entire life. But in the end, thank God, she was spared and this morning all I can feel is deep gratitude and joy that she wasn't hurt and didn't suffer loss.  A light breakfast of a half of a half of a pizza slice and one highly seasoned poached egg on top served as a celebrational course.  

People Are Strange, When You're a Stranger

Egg, corn & cheese tacos with quinoa salad for dinner

1 week of strange times back to the job behind me and another one starting.  Margarita smelling sanitizer lingers in the air all day.  Wearing a face mask for 8 hours is not going to be easy or pleasant in the coming summer months.  There were times when I had to pull mine down quickly to grasp for air feeling a tinge of claustrophobia coming on.  I would question that, but I saw other coworkers do the same.  That big extra intake of air you need when you exert yourself is real.  Then there is the new use of our senses.  It's very unusual going about your business mainly using your eyes only.  Your sense of smell is hindered because of course the mask covers your nose.  You talk more when it's necessary and many times, people can't hear you unless they expect a conversation.  So, this new eye communication is the main game.  Passing people where normally you could see their smile and hear their greeting, even if it was quiet, has gone away.  Now, all my sublty goes unheard all together so, I've dropped it and speak only when I have to.
Then, the big reveal in the break room where masks come off and for some minutes, we all see each as usual.  All the women have stopped wearing makeup in any way, even the theys.  It's just not practical.  Bare lips, pale cheeks, is the new view.  It's been liberating for me, sensual in a weird way because I've worn it all my life out of some outdated sense of decency. As if anyone gives any mind to what I do, hell I might as well be invisible, which is fine by me.  Still though while eating, we're facing one way and 6 ft apart.  Some walk around the room and speak openly,  and it's shocking, you feel exposed, as if the speaker is presumed to be spreading germs just by spouting in your direction.

My sister made this beautiful bright mask that coincidentally matches my safety vest

Well I Been Down So Very Damn Long, That it Looks Like Up to Me

When your mate starts to come out of their peak, in this Coronavirus, I imagine it to be like the week after your child begins to speak regularly.  It's a beautiful time, you're super grateful and wanted this but after 2 hours I was eyeing that frying pan.  Don't get me wrong, it is so great to see P becoming well and talking but women with husbands will feel me on this, sometimes you guys can get fairly negative, fill the room with general stank, and also make the mistake of diving right back into business as usual, not let your body heal.  This might be a male thing.  Us gals take a couple of days to rejoice and ease into it.  The first morning, this girl would never be on a government site applying for anything where you need numbers and information or feel the need to discuss whether we should be able to call this thing a Chinese virus.  This is not that time.  I'm just pointing out the obvious, or so one would think.


I'm no mother hen either but just yesterday, upon waking, I walked in the bedroom to see someone looking like they were out of the Shining.  He seemed to be having something akin to a psychotic trip, is how we would describe it.   P's eyes weren't focused and his head was rolling around, he was trying to make his jaw unlock but there was clearly something unusual happening.  He tried to talk and it came out all slow and he wasn't making sense all the way.  He couldn't breathe that well and was holding his chest so I said I was going to call the doctor.  He kept assuring me he was okay.  You start to forget what is acceptable with this thing because everything goes so haywire.  I checked his temperature because I figured he might be running a high fever, but like me his blood runs cold, only 95.6.  Which could be a whole other symptom but it wasn't a fever.  For about 20 or 30 minutes he was disconnected from his body, his words, but I knew that feeling.  I had a similar experience and like me, he was more lucid after 10 minutes.  I struggled with what to do but was able to make him eat some peanut butter crackers then made the executive decision to give him a shot of whiskey to shock his system.  And one small sip helped bring him back.  In my experience my body revolted as well, so we weren't as freaked out to see this but extremely relieved when it passed.

So today, the fact that he's sitting cursing at a computer screen was almost comical if it wasn't so frustrating. We're all having so much trouble, but this sickness just compounds it all.

I was able to make my first trek to the corner market and fetch fresh things, take a quick stroll around the block.  It felt great and then it didn't about 1/2 hour later, so it's best to take baby steps.  I called our doctor to ask if it's normal to feel all these bizarre symptoms and for so long and he said he's fielded dozens of similar calls.  And went on to say this pinche virus is a lingerer and don't be surprised to feel chest tightening and winded another couple of weeks but of course, to call them if it gets worse than before. That's the mainstay advice, its bad, it's weird, but if it gets worse than that....call. And several friends are holding on to that because it is unnerving.   Anyway, so I'm worn down a bit from that scare and not gonna cook today so I'll share instead.

My sister was out of corn tortillas and bread out in her Colorado town.  She made this amazing Navajo taco with homemade fry bread and said it came out delicious!  Looks great.  Can't wait to try it.  There are tons of Youtube tutorial videos and the ingredients are the same but the amounts vary. Everyone comes out with the same looking bread but I wonder how different they taste.  I tend to trust the older women in aprons for these recipes but cooking videos zap my energy.  I watch them all, then do a combination of what feels right because people are whack! 

Into This House We're Thrown, Into this World We're Born

B'klyn Burro Burritos 

First off I can't believe this place has been around for over 5 years. They are only a short walking distance from us and we just began enjoying their incredible offerings.  These two burritos were special as were the sauces each with a different depth of heat and pepper flavor.  Gosh I love food when it's good!

I also love weather, when it rains and storms.  Snow and wind.  When the sky does weird things.  I get all giddy when I hear thunder, when the air goes quiet or the clouds go dark.  What is it about a change in atmosphere that can provide such genuine happiness?  I really want to know because I'm desperate to find more of it, bottle it and save it for my future doldrums. 

It has something to do with absolute testament that we are powerless little animals.  That's the true reality.  We arm ourselves with all our money, savings accounts, computer passwords, jobs, possessions.  We try to conduct ourselves as civilized beings.  But the truth is if we really allow the world to come in, it proves immediately that we are just silly, odd, funny looking, not-so-hairy creatures that have no idea why we are here or what we are doing.

Another small delight was this surprise chocolate, raspberry cake for our 75th Anniversary at work.  For a second I also felt a fleeting sense of childlike elation.

Try to Set the Night on Fire

My dinner tonight consisted of baked fries and cheeseburgers in lettuce wraps.  It was

 very satisfying and friendly to the gut. Leaves you feeling clean and light. You do get the satisfaction of the cheeseburger experience without all the bloat of the buns.

My lunch however consisted of a small carne asada burrito from B'klyn Burro.  The combination of the warmed, slightly toasted flour tortilla and the freshly fried chips gave a deeper, more instant gratification.  What I would call good, bad food, meaning well made with good ingredients, just not low fat, is like the steamy sex scenes in movies.  It's fast and hard and passionate giving the stomach the sensation of an oncoming orgasm. Whereas the lettuce calls up to the brain and gives it sweet loving mommy kisses.

Yep, the long lasting gusto of eating healthy is no quick roll in the hay.

There's a Killer on the Road

Hurricane Irma was such an event.  I spent my day off monitoring and projecting it's route and following the news, even turning on television for the first time in many months.  The constant state of anxiety was slightly addictive but I had real friends and family in it's path so considering the possible realities for them trumped any excitement that this huge, unusual storm brought with it.

But outside of the devastation you'd be crazy not to be interested in it's size and the way it kept its eye-wall so in tact.  This was a Hollywood hurricane in graphic.  Then the way it sucked up all the water miles before hitting, even in the rivers!  That's a new one.  And I'd bet those meteorologists that said, its not unusual had not seen that before in their lifetime.  I've heard of it happening with a tsunami but not a hurricane.  And what happened to the 15 foot surge?  Not that we wanted it.  It was a huge blessing it didn't happen.  But why did Marco Island not get that massive surge on the back end and how did that tiny haven survive a Category 3 hurricane direct hit without much damage?

The other intriguing matter was where the storm would land and I don't believe any model was correct even up to the moment it hit Marco Island.  I remember looking at the radar and seeing a westward shift but they kept saying it would veer left and hug the coast.  Days before I prayed my sister would drive to the gulf side to avoid it as it was projected to hit the East Coast.  Thank goodness she has more sense and experience with these things. Then the prediction went to straight up the center.  In the end, even after landfall they were wrong as it went more inland instead of up to Tampa where they were set up live already planting the fear of worst case scenarios with every bit of certainty even though nothing so far had been accurate.  I think this time they really did believe it would be catastrophic, and it was for some.  But with all the money involved and the seriousness of the situation I think we can all agree almost everything needs to change with the way news outlets handle this new extreme weather phenomena.

I handled dinner with a sense of urgency by the time everything settled down.  I had to make chicken thighs happen so I did a quick braise with whole tomatoes, garlic, olives, artichoke hearts and oregano over Polenta.  

Last Me, All Through the Week

Again, the week's groceries and leftovers keep giving with this leftover corn and black bean salad with a reheated stuffed pepper, this time with a little forbidden cheese and rice and pico on my day off.

When I presented this plate to myself I was so grateful and tickled.  I tried to savor the peace and tranquility of eating this bit of heaven on a plate made just for me, by me on my day off of labor. The day that when I'm not fearing and loathing, can be very church-like, or at least really quiet and calm.  These days thoughts can be held and considered and I can zone out all the street noise and try to be mindful without every Tom Dick and Harry's input as my mom used to say. It all goes to hell most days but sometimes I achieve a wonderful headspace. Unfortunately, this was not an example of that.  After I ate, the whole day went south but my lunch did not disappoint.

Love Me Two Times, One for Tomorrow, One Just for Today

I love double duty ingredients.  I made a batch of this ground chicken and vegetable mix and took half of it the next day after making burgers and stuffed these bell peppers.  Those would also begat leftover meals. It's a beautiful thing.  All your groceries working together in harmony.  All holding hands, forming friendships and having baby meals.

A deep flavored dish becomes half as time consuming if you already have a great base to build it off of, like this meat mixture.   A quick stuff, some canned tomatoes over top and into the oven for 40-45 minutes.  Enough time to get some brown rice made.  More leftover fresh pico on top to finish.  This had the eye appeal and wow factor because anything stuffed is appetizing and makes your mind think 'mmmmm...stuffed hot something'........

...yes that is puffed rice on top for crunch.  Try it!

C'mom Baby Light My Fire

Summertime stovetop chicken tenders.  Thin sliced chicken breast dipped in buttermilk then coated in a light topping of crushed French Fried Onions, Panko bread crumbs and Parmessan, a little seasoned flour.  Sautéed until crisp on both sides.  A marinara dipping sauce.

Nothing to write home about but on a weeknight, these were pretty good. 

The humidity has been so stifling that the thought of even turning on the burners fills the room with heat, let alone the oven.  This is when city folk dream of having a back yard and grill.  How wonderful and easy it would be to just throw these babies on a hot grill and then come inside to cool central air conditioning to eat them.