Friday, March 13, 2020

Should've Been in Love

Pequena in Fort Greene
Friday, the 13th, just a few short days before the rug was entirely pulled out from underneath this town I decided it was a good idea to take a read of the neighborhood by visiting a local eatery, Pequena here in Fort Greene.  I've always found it much easier to discuss hard truths over a platter of Mexican food.  Even though some changes were already announced, I was still schlepping to work on my bike, working in a heavy-trafficked retail environment without protection.  We needed to state our plans, worries and needs to go forward.  We felt an even bigger wave coming, so it was good to say things out loud. People are always talking about game changers, well this most definitely qualified. 
Enchilada plate, rojas and verde

Tres taco platter, chicken, pork and mushroom
pico and chili dusted chips
Not the first flowers of spring but most interesting
A week later now on the 22nd, check-ins with married couples are similar. Everyone is doing their best not to take their vintage cast iron pan to the head's of their spouse. We may need to temporarily suspend domestic violence laws along with alternate side parking. This will become a challenge of the wits.  We've always isolated, even from each other so we're starting out in our comfort zone.  The inability to leave though, I describe as how a cat reacts to shut doors.  They may have stayed on the bed all day given the choice but as soon as you shut that door they become obsessed with escaping and that quickly turns to panic.  I have a bit of that going on but this is when living in the present is really coming in handy.  When you don't allow that horrid future picture in, the present is pretty incredible lately.  Having all day long to write, listen to music, watch documentaries, eat, text, talk to people.  I mean especially for Americans as we're not great at taking time to be in the moment.  With all my layers of Catholic guilt, it's a dream to have my job send me a text to say I must stay in.  I've been in soccer pants since Tuesday!  

Seconds later, the mind takes over, you blink and you're blue.  Your brain becomes a toddler, a constant flow of nagging thoughts and doom scenarios. Shutting it off requires the patience of a saint, or a mother.  Spring is here and we're missing it!, my mind shouts.  I see the magnolia trees are blooming even without anyone there to admire them, it goes on.  Do trees feel sad? Before breathing deeply, which is like putting my mind on sleep mode, I tell it the blooms are a reminder that today's troubles are enough for the day.  Now shut the fuck up!

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