Monday, September 28, 2015

Won't You Lay Me Down in the Tall Grass

Is the world spinning faster or is it just me?  You can less easily just sit with your own thoughts for any length of time without feeling challenged through tons of mediums.  And these are big ideas and concepts.  I am not capable of forming solid conclusions this quickly. The news feeds alone confound me with what seems like a fast paced never ending assembly line of journalists and commentaries of every thought diligently trolling out their opinions with crafty, snarky little titles.  One more precious than the last. How does anyone keep up? Social media, friends of friends of friends, coworkers, overheard conversations on subways and in lunchrooms.  Morning coffee with my husband is even feeling like some sort of downloading exchange session of various and random concerns in an attempt to tune our channels in tandem if only briefly.  I feel less and less like we're really with each other and more like I'm passing through his hologram.
Generally speaking, the cyber life is perhaps melding so much into the physical or vise versa that I am unable to distinguish where I am many times.  I need to find a way to ground myself and keep my focus of intent. Processing views is an exercise that I do enjoy however the rate of information coming in is putting a strain on my 53 year old infrastructure.
I blended art with food in this colorful pork stir fry using black rice and perfectly steamed vegetables.  I paired it with a memory of gathering my mom's flowers she grew on the hillside of our backyard, along with mulberries and mud from the creek.  I would form the most beautiful pies decorated with nature. Shaded from the sun by the trees, afterwards I could lay my head in the tall grass that grew extra high on the bend of that sloping sanctuary and just listen to my own breath mix with that of the world's.  I found that perfect spot and understood completely where I was in those moments.
I want to be there again or somewhere like it.  A place where my nails aren't bitten to the core and my anxiety and nervousness don't dictate the state of my own union.

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Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?