Ball of Confusion

I was one of the last people to join Facebook in the universe.  And thank goodness in some ways because lately I've noticed these '5 or 6 years ago today' posts.  That would crush me! I don't want to be reminded of a day years ago unless I'm in the exact right frame of mental order or it could send me, gosh, I don't even know but most likely nowhere good.  Time has always been a fickle friend to me.  Similar to my (lack of) sense of direction.  I don't comprehend time in the same way I believe that others do.  To me it's a giant swirly wad, not a constant line.  Most often I deal with issues or situations several years after the actual occurrence.  Because for me, the right time to deal with them seems to come to me like a package delivered at my door.  One day it just appears and I open the box and get to it.  I never said it was a good process, just one that I've learned to accept.  Plus every time I scope back, I have to acknowledge how bad I seem to be at managing relationships.

I am in a year long experiment with social media.  A trial period I've given myself to try to be more like the better adjusted.  See if I can integrate a bit more into so called society. Communicate with people on a regular basis and share stories and experiences as they play out.  Lots of surprising bonuses, like making more connections off line somehow with people that mean the world to me.  And so far just a few bumps in the road that I'm sure everyone shares online.  The most consistent input is my daily meal photos.  But the stories behind those meals are here in the blog, the real meat of my reality.  The photos of the plates are my version of a selfie.

I'll never be an extrovert or a people person.  At best I do well one on one, where I can really shine or in groups of 3 or 4 tops.  But I think it's important to keep trying to connect and communicate, participate and contribute no matter how far off the grid you live in your mind.

I made an avocado cream sauce with yogurt that was heavenly over refried beans and corn with hunks of chopped roasted lemon chicken breasts on top.  I'm digging these layered meals where you put everything in your mouth with one bite.  No separate components.

It's more like how I see the world and time.  It's all one huge mass.  Some of us don't experience it in the same way and that's, okay.