Saturday, January 3, 2015

I Climb A Mountain and I Turn Around


I think I have a discovered my own case of attention deficit disorder.  I can pay attention to people while they are talking to me, unlike many folks these days.  No, my problem is that I am getting too many ideas at once, trains of thoughts.  I can't seem to pay attention to myself! I tend to think in analogies.  But that can trigger the problem.  For example, I was thinking of Fleetwood Mac this week because a coworker was going to the concert and had spent $500 on tickets.  One thought wave went down one road. Thinking, would I pay to see these old hippies anymore or for that matter, spend 500 hard earns on anyone?  If so, who? I was trying to use the band to give relationship advice to my coworker, as if I have any.  Of course I'm web-surfing in between these thoughts so I run across the phenomenal Midnight Special intro video of Buckingham/Nicks for Rhiannon.  So now I have to listen to All the first albums again to understand if I love them like an old doll or love them like the patron saints of the 70s.  But you can't waste time so while listening to the albums when I'm supposed to be writing this post, I zone out during one of Christine McVie's lame ass ballads as it dwindled on.  I think it might be a good time for yoga, since I'm feeling all relaxed and such. But while clicking the Fleetwood Mac album to play on Roku via YouTube Pair so I could be able to use my laptop for the yoga instruction video, I see my nephew has a new video that I should watch before I do anything else...but I can't.  I'm already doing like 5 things and none of them actually.  I do the yoga and I put his video on hold but queue it to play after all the albums are finished so I won't forget.  Well thinking of that nephew I realize it's the day I promised myself I'd write my other nephew so I get that one out of the way.  But since I'm ruled by guilt I check in with my niece via quick text who takes care of our parents because obviously I need to be checkin in with her before I am casually writing everyone else (that's my inner voice).  So then one of McVies slow bummers starts to make me feel like the room is sundowning so I get up quick and go look in the mirror.  I see that my hair could use a good comb through it.  But ya know a little vinegar on my reflection could really bring out the shine.  Next thing I know I'm polishing all the mirrors in the apartment and taking out the trash.  But why take out the trash without scooping the cat poop?  
 I have so many little things to get done but the one thing I planned on doing, the one thing I wanted to prioritize was writing.  Its so hard to make myself pay attention to me!
Initially this began by a thought I had about rainy days off, having to go get groceries at PathMark, the first snow and creating a spring-like salad with poached chicken and green apple, sunflower seeds and cannellini beans. Somehow that all related to some subconscious Fleetwood Mac lyrics.  But now I've forgotten what they were.  And then the chain began but somewhere in there I had to put the first coat of my nail polish on in getting ready for work tomorrow.  It's 5 o'clock somewhere but it's 5:30 here and I only have an hour to make my chicken and rice which clearly is not happening today.  I can barely write about what I ate 2 weeks ago.  Suddenly I'm stressed.  I've stressed my damn self out.  This is the disorder.  Self ADD? or SADD?  I think it's already taken.
As a matter of fact now I understand that this salad is not at all about Fleetwood Mac (but I do have some serious thoughts about Stevie Nicks that I will include in my other blog).  Instead this salad is more about this crazy disorder.  I probably went to the grocery and bought chicken to make some comfort food and instead, I remember falling onto this poached chicken recipe online and then remembering chunks of tender chicken breast in a salad can be really good if cooked just right.  It stays juicy and picks up the bright flavors of the dressing. The green apple and seeds, lemon dressing and sweet vidalia onions are so good at picking someone up on a day like that day.  Cold, raining and then snowing.

Staying positive in the PathMark line.  Maybe I just blocked out this day, it sounds like a real bummer.

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