Friday, December 19, 2014

Learning From Each Other, While We Do Our Thing

My longest running love relationship has probably been with spaghetti.  All varieties.  Spaghetti, before we Americans started calling it pasta and gave it some sophistication.  It pairs with my love of ground meat, mushrooms, garlic, onions, bell peppers, canned whole tomatoes, tomato sauce and finally the silky strands of noodles in every dimension, thick and thin.  And then one day it was like the curtain dropped on what I had thought was just good food.  White flour pasta was the devil.  People were to stop eating it's empty calories.  It was no longer wholesome, good food - it was bad for your body and should be avoided at all costs.  It could be giving you headaches, bloating, making you sluggish, putting us at risk for type 2 diabetes, it was singlehandedly making us all obese. Bad on top of bad.
I used to watch the Cosby show.  My dad liked him growing up so I knew his comedy.  At the time of the shows first season I had moved to Fresno and then to SF so tv watching was kept to a minimum, but I was quite familiar and even watched A Different World.  I loved Fat Albert too!  I wasn't crazy about the Cosby show but found it provided information about Brooklyn and fed my ever growing fascination with New York.  But I bought into the belief that Mr Cosby was bringing a version of African Americans that many needed to see and he was a funny cool guy doing it.  Then later in years when he came out with all that 'young black men need to pull their pants up' stuff I was half paying attention but I thought the core message was suspicious.  You don't go against your own people to other people. That's the rules.  He upped his own profile by doing just that and sacrificing the youth no less. To me he did a double disservice feeding the myth that black people did all this to themselves and if they'd just throw on a pair of Dockers, they would be fine.  So his own people see someone they respect give a preacher like sermon with the wrong message.  And then the bigots on the outside of poverty had their gut feelings validated from a real live black man.  Instead of maybe looking to help his own rise up behind the scenes, he went to the white audience and told them what was wrong with the black youth.  To me, that was all kinds of wrong, even back then. And it tells you more about him than anything. That was my first major eyebrow crimp about Cosby.
So when all these accusations ( came out I was listening.  And every week we get more women.  They tell eerily similar stories.  It's gone so beyond comprehension.  He's a serial rapist of historical proportion feeding like a vampire on the weak and vulnerable for decades or this gray area of rape is finally being uncovered for the true criminal it really is and has been for a long long time.  Just because you know someone and go have a drink with them doesn't give any right to drug you and take your body while you're defenseless.  Bad judgement is unfortunate but not a crime.  I think either makes him an excellent candidate for a major study and analysis.  He's alive and c'mon, even if half of these 30+ women are lying, which they probably aren't, we have the ability to investigate a true sexual predator that we have tons of back story on and pertinent information, years and years of data.  My mind has been flooded with hypothesis for days on my bike rides home!  
I am and have been very interested in what makes the deviant's mind tick.  What is their motivation?  How do they justify and live with themselves?  And in this case, convince themselves they are not guilty of any wrong doing.  Alone at night does he truly believe they all deserved it?  Or even that it was a gift perhaps, or his due for helping their careers?  Does he have remorse or shame?  Does he cry like a little baby at night because he knows he's the biggest dirty bird or does he sleep sound?  And what is with the wet hair thing?  Apparently when you read each of the women's testimonies (as I have several times) you'll see much the same scenarios: they are weak, sometimes sick, he gives them pills or a spiked drink and they end up waking up either mid sex or even weirder in some cases, he's stroking their wet hair or he's asked them to go wet their hair.  There has got to be a big clue to that little fetish.

Yes, I'm sad if all this is true not only for the black community because we all need strong leaders and especially us minority groups.  But I certainly do not feel this is any reflection on the group as a whole.  No Cosby stands alone in this.  But his main bullshit message may actually be true of his own life, that he did it to himself.  In his case, he had fame, power, influence and a legacy and he himself (if allegations are true) has single handedly smashed it all to hell.

I hope I don't sound snide.  I don't think this is one bit funny and truly am hungry to learn about these subjects for my own sanity.  I do believe we need to investigate this and learn as much as we can while he's alive.  It's a sad American story for sure.

I'm also a bit somber that white flour products turned out to be bad for me.  Spaghetti was truly one of my favorite all time foods.  I was seduced by it's awesome taste and coma inducing after effects.  But I have wisely switched to zucchini pasta thanks to my Veggetti and enjoy my favorite homemade sauces as often as I see fit.  Hey, hey, hey!!!

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