Saturday, July 12, 2014

The Pain That Shakes Me Finally Makes Me, Get Up Off of My Knees

Went to a friends gallery opening where she featured these gorgeous paintings of our friend J.  On the way we were talking about art and how it most always takes you by surprise.  Especially when you look at the individual brush strokes up close. In those movements you end up seeing the artist, you see the colors separated and intentional, the beauty of the paint pulls you in. Then you step back and out and suddenly you see in this case J.  We walked into the room and as soon as you saw her work his presence or essence or whatever it is that makes you recognize what's inside of a person was right up there on the wall. Just like that, a small miracle.  J's singularity personified right there on a little canvas. 
Art in music is also a bit of a surprise. When it comes out of a physically attractive person I'm surprised and delighted they have used their beauty for good.  But when it comes out of a person you might pass on the street and not give a second look, it strikes and startles me.  I remember watching Hee Haw as a young girl with my family.  Buck Owens played goofy and he was funny looking, some might say homely.  I got the sense though that there was more to him which made him complex.  But when he sang his songs I got a lump in my throat and felt the need to pay close attention.  As is if I focused right, I would witness a transformation, his grace shining right through that screen.  He moved me in places I didn't even acknowledge existed at that time.  Places that connected my heart to my marrow. Made me realize I had to be very mindful with this new awareness of all the layers in not only other people but myself as well. And recognizing ingenuity in the oddest places.  Buck and country music in general also taught me that love can be a lonely place.  The look on some of my friends' moms faces sitting at their kitchen tables smoking cigarettes with the radio on drinking their third cup of coffee, I could tell that love had done a number on them somehow.  I wasn't one of those little girls that had grand illusions of love and marriage.  I was very leery of anything making promises or professions.  No, I was more than content to just watch, maybe try to understand from a outsider's view point.  Unfortunately even standing close you can sometimes get burned. Fortunately art and pain are very inspiring. 

I was so hungry for the world on this day.  We walked on the High Line in the city and even though it was way too packed to really enjoy it, I could recall past visits when I could stop and look and enjoy all the plants, the unique views that could only be had right there straddled above the street.  Came home and ordered a pulled pork platter!  That's right, with the beans and the rice and hell if you're gonna cheat, do it up - got the side of guac and chips.  To look at this box you would never know just how delicious that damn pork was.  Words fail.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?