Tuesday, June 24, 2014

You'll Always Find Me, Out to Lunch

Having craved real white pasta for months I tamed the beast inside again by making roasted spaghetti squash and this time I bought the right one.  I loved it so much I had it for dinner and lunch twice.
It's actually just as good with a nice marinara sauce as it is with this robust meat mushroom sauce.
I took it to work, microwaved it and sat down with it on my tray. The sweet smell of the squash and garlic, the tangy tomato sauce, it was all so good especially in that setting when you're just expecting prison food.  Again, why don't I do this more often?  I tell ya, I fail to learn in life. Or I do learn but then I forget really quickly.  This may be the reason I struggle to advance in my individual life progress.  This could be a new condition.  Failure to progress disorder.
It seems so simple.  You have an idea of what you need to change.  In this case, I'd like to bring my lunch to work.  I do it a couple of times and then fail to do it for like a year.  Then I wonder, what went wrong. Lack of effort?  Sure.  But I forget a lot too.  Why yesterday I had it in containers and there it sat in my fridge.  I never remembered it until just now.  It'd be fine if it were just one to two quirks but I have a huge list of failed, not even attempts, more failed lack of attempts.
Are all these things not priorities to me?  And if so, what do I spend my time remembering?  Seems I'm pretty vacant up there before going to work.  I can't recall thinking anything in particular.   So am I just this goofy girl that can't focus?  Perhaps.  But it's never that simple because I am an over thinker so it doesn't make sense that I'm insufficiently thriving.  Maybe I don't make good solid plans.  I make a lot of lists I know that.  And usually I mark them off one by one..eventually.  Maybe I don't care enough?  Could be.
But if I had to make a real evaluation right now I would say I tend to live inside my head way too much.  Maybe more than the actual physical world.  It's more interesting there sometimes.  And all my friends are there!  That's a joke...kind of.  And there, there is no time or space, no old or young me, no progressing or not, it's not the past or the future. Frankly, it's just all cool up there.  You don't have to worry about your clothes and down here my hair is not acting right at ALL.  Summer frizz is no joke.
But I gotta figure out how to get my lunch to work, bottom line.

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