Monday, November 23, 2020

And Now You're Back From Outer Space

A late night after work porking
Pantry staples brought this plate of slow roasted pork to life with some jarred salsa (I never ever use this product but in 2020, you gotta go with the flow).  Canned refried beans with added cheese and pickled jalapenos, cumin and a dollop of yogurt as a warm, creamy side. 


Retail Story #212
The old man came back that gave me such a tough time the other day causing me to call a manager after he insisted he knew the owner and I would be in big trouble if I didn't help him.  He yelled and called me names, came limping after me across the showroom as I scurried away.  He said I 'had' to stay and help him, which sealed the deal for me.  I don't 'have' to do anything but I do quite enough thank you and take more shit than I prefer from almost everyone.   

He was old, mean, grouchy and bossy.  He might suffer slightly from dementia so at first, I was very kind to him, gave him all the extra attention. Then it became apparent, he was very confused.  It seemed he already bought the same kitchen, a week before, now trying to purchase again, with slight variations.  But was so adamant and demanding, after I told him I couldn't in good conscious sell him pieces that didn't work.  So, when his arms started flying and his voice raised, then I promised to get some other clown person to assist him.    This store is so far from normal society that it follows it's own laws.  Lucky for me, no manager ever comes and I continue to operate as if I'm in the wild west. 
Then today, he's back but may have met his match with my colleague.  At first, I thought to warn my coworker but then realized without interference, the universe might just take care of this asswipe.  This kid helps out in the department but often screws up orders and insists on giving wrong advice with authority.  He's not the sharpest tool and has a bit of a temper himself.   I can only imagine what sort of retail mayhem will ensue after these two knuckleheads are finished.  So, I stayed circling like a little yipper dog, showing my teeth but keeping my distance.   
I know what you're thinking.  I failed to go 'high' like Michelle Obama and instead, just joined all the other swine in the swamp of shame.  It's true and I'm not proud.  Next time I'll do better.  But honestly, retail 2020 in Brooklyn, New York is a brand new game and I challenge most of you to be your best self consistently in these conditions.  

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