Oooh, You Make Me Live

My mate has a very all consuming personality presence.  It wasn't apparent when we first met.  He filled the room with a calm, engaged self-driven energy way back in San Francisco.  I went to his apartment and watched him smoke his cigarettes while he prepared to play us his short films and interesting but very sad songs on his guitar.  He always seemed so busy in his head yet constantly putting out some form of art and life to share with friends over beers and conversation.  After almost giving up on becoming attracted to any sex for a length of time, I remember thinking this is exactly what I am looking for in a partner.  I felt creativity boiling up inside of me at the time and if I could be near someone of that mindset, it would be able to flow, I would find a way to pull it out. 

Now I realize that two creative people are not always the best compliment to each other.  In some ways certainly.  But when having a tough time, we crave attention and demand time of our other to mull over all our objections to life.  Like right now, this minute.  You need someone to listen at the drop of a hat.  You also want the other to become enthralled in all of the details of your hardships, genuinely giving their all because of course it's the most important thing going on at that moment.  And what that is, that is exhausting and almost impossible.   

But you find ways to adjust and contort yourself to accommodate partnerships.  It's like a game that you reach the next level before continuing on or you can fail, failure is always an option.  Game over.  But not tonight.  On this night, as I'm listening and commenting on P's fascinating problems, on the inside I'm patting myself on the back for these incredible pork, apple, kale burgers with pan fries.   Chunks of red apple, chopped kale, garlic, oatmeal, green onion and to finish a little sprinkle of bleu cheese.   They were so good and ready in less than 30 minutes from conception to table.  All the while from the front door on, juggling considering someone else's life troubles.