Thursday, February 15, 2018

Won't You Please, Please Help Me

It's apropos to have leftovers after Valentine's Day to symbolize love lives on in it's less romanticized ways well after the roses die.  You appreciated your mate yesterday and now back to considering all the ways they take you for granted or how the chores are so unevenly divided.  How they can drop crumbs on the floor and not have one ounce of consideration to sweep or mop up a wet spill.   How they see you stressed but you are the one who is responsible for letting them know exactly what needs done in an easy to read list.  He's happy to do anything, just needs to be told, he tells me.  Isn't that convenient? Because he's 5, right?  I wish my week was put on a list, all the things that that need to be done.  Funny me, I just see with my eyes and do them.  I see a dirty sink and I clean it out.  I look at a yellow toilet and I get out the comet.  The litter box smells and I know it's time to change it.  The bedding needs refreshed and I get at it.  But P, he needs a list.  He couldn't possibly be expected to just figure these simple clues out himself.
But you know, it does work.  At least with P.  I need at least a couple of weeks if you give me a project.  I need to consider it, break it down, make a plan.  I wrote that I wanted the big AC put in the living room on the chalkboard last night and then next day, (writing this in May), he did it.  Just woke up and did it.  Granted, you must have a ceremony afterwards.  Take time to admire and compliment the excellent job, really highlight how brilliant it was done. The admiration lasts longer than the chore and needs to be repeated until he feels properly stroked.
Men and women are two different animals.  I'm convinced there is a major hardware system distinction.  The similarities are probably the majority but I notice the variations.  If there was a Google maps for the mind, you would see our paths to answers take completely different routes.  Its not just my husband, it's all men.  My dad, brothers, nephews, friends...even male cats and dogsI've known.  I was centering last night on a male coworker that does half the output that I do on any given night.  I often shake my head that he can just sit at his computer as if nothing is happening when we're busy and I'm handling all the quick sales in the department.  I'm running back and forth from the register...does he see me??  But I needed his help yesterday for a random project and when I asked him, he quickly jumped to attention as if he was thrilled to do it.  And I was like, if all I have to do is ask for help and I'll get it, then why don't I, always?  The answer lies somewhere in the opposition of the sexes.  The desire for men to see the need and want to help, to offer before being asked.  What is in women that we also need the emotional acknowledgement? I want him to first notice I need help and then in turn want to help because ferchrissakes isn't it damn obvious, sheeez! 
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