I'm Somewhere Looking for the End of that Long White Line

Fitty Sicks

For me, birthdays are something I want to celebrate but then again becoming older for people nowadays is unknown territory.  Last year at 55 I knew I turned a corner.  I knew nothing would be the same but I didn't know what that meant.  It's silly to be depressed but there is some honest sadness to lose so many parts of yourself that you've come to know and enjoy, like tight eyelids or thick hair.  It doesn't go away overnight but it kind of feels that way.  Like one day you just wake up and you're older.  You're different somehow.  I'm not that comfortable with change.  At least that's what my boy boss says.
But I think from what I'm seeing maybe getting older for women isn't necessarily a bad thing.  So far I've been able to tell myself things I've needed to hear for years.  Good and bad.  Sure, it's not the same but maybe it's the lie we've been fed by ignorant younger versions of ourselves.  We've been lead to believe youth is perfection yet we've all been through it and although it has it's amazing moments, it was very tough.  No cakewalk for me.  We are ill equipped mentally and emotionally to handle being at our physical prime when you think about it. But since no one tells you it's hard then you just plow through it.  As far as you know, you're in the good part of life lookin' fancy! Ignorance is bliss.
Coincidentally yesterday I'm listening to a friend's podcast and they talk about a 2nd Saturn's return that we go through at 56 - 59.  I distinctly remember the first one.  Some enlightened person eventually laid all their star knowledge on me explaining the deep changes I was already experiencing at 27 - 30 years old.  I thought I would surely lose my entire mind but instead all this life happened and it lead to a million other doors and people and unimaginable things.  Now here I am 28 years later and there is that familiar feeling of being so restless and hungry.  Unlike before I am more familiar with what I like to eat and what's not for me.  They say that helps. I just hope I don't screw up the second half.

Well you can better believe I'm getting a big cheese burger and fries at least for tonight  Funny the place is called 67 burger and thank goodness I'm not celebrating that one! Yet.