Saturday, September 27, 2014

Billy Don't Be a Hero

Our cats have two distinct personalities.  Willie is pensive, a thinker, nervous by nature and often looks like he has the troubles of the world on his mind.  But he is also super cool and why just the other day he damned near saved our lives.  I was sleeping and as he tends to do to P, but not to me so much, he began ramming his head into my face and then taking his paw and gently but because he's got those long ass old man ternails, he scratched my cheek.  I wake up annoyed but then immediately smell smoke pretty strong.  I jump up and check the stove in my Frankenstein walk that I have at night because I do not wake up easily. I find nothing so I get back in bed trying to make a lot of noise so P will wake up but he doesn't.  So I realize it's much stronger now and I have to act fast so I grab my phone for the light to check the plugs around my nightstand because of course everything is on like two extensions and I've had fears before we'd go up in flames from an electrical fire. My phone is red hot, I burn myself and drop it.  It's the damn charger, literally smoking at the connection now!  I was able to unplug everything in time and no harm done except that my phone was shot to hell.  And this little skinny aging cat woke my dumb ass up to let me know this was going down.  Just like Lassie with the fire in the barn.  Another reason I will call him incredible.  There will never be another Willie, Billy or Bill as we call him now that's he older.  We also call him Billdozer, Billzebub, William, Dickweed, Ratso Rizzo, Billionaire, bird killer, Bildo.  He comes to any of these with bells on. He's very attentive. Once he became absolutely frantic when he couldn't get into the room when P and his brother were recording a folk opera about a boy named Billy and in the story the father kept calling for Billy...Billy!  And this cat was clawing at the door as if he was going to jump in a rescue someone from a burning building. Kinda awesome.
Mona is playful and fun and light.  She is free and sleeps like she lives, balls out and I wouldn't doubt she's dreaming that she is flying in this picture.  She wakes up excited and immediately commences to play with her toys.  We call her the drunken frat girl because she seems a bit out of it but in good spirits nonetheless.  At almost any moment you can go find her and she'll be doing something ridiculously cute and you figure more than half the time, no one even sees it.  A darn shame.  She's never done anything wrong or annoying so just one of those joys to have around. I appreciate the boy and admire the girl.  You can obsess on your cats when you don't have kids and maybe even project your own good and bad qualities onto them.  People can do that but I don't think that's what I'm guilty of here.  I'm just bored.  Cats are enchanting and I wish I had discovered their value much sooner in life.

Just as I wish I would have discovered adding roasted chipotle salsa to chili years earlier. It's a great little flavor enhancer that hikes it up.  Gives it a sweet quality without adding any sugars.


  1. Yea yea yea! Food monkey the coolest. Do you do voices?

  2. uh....explain yourself! I do voices yes.


Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?