It doesn't always work this way. Sometimes it's overwhelming and I want to crawl out of my skin. My muscles ache the way I imagine cranky babies must feel inside as they grow. My heart races and anxious is all I feel. My mind fills up with bad thoughts and I worry my temper will flair and I might accidentally whack my husband with a frying pan over the head for leaving the sink dirty or not wiping down the stove.
I love to be this awake but just like stimulant drugs, I don't think you could go too long without having a heart attack. I am usually relieved the next morning to feel normal again. But before it goes away, I love to dance around at night and howl and laugh because after all these years, I'm still in love with that moon.
That night I made bok choy with mushrooms and roasted turkey meatballs with grape tomatoes on a sheet pan. The leftovers would be paired with farro the next day for a lunch meal. |
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Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?