Sunday, September 30, 2012

Now It Looks As Though They're Here To Stay

I'm real behind on writing. P's been back for a month from his trip to Europe. We've just gone through a hurricane and many lives have changed dramatically. We were spared with no damage, thank goodness. However, I'm not going to lie my nerves are shot and generally when my paranoia's come true I can't help but feel an impending sense of doom regardless of details like reality. Actually, I think I was born with that so its really just about gauging the various levels of fear. I have an equally unhealthy longing for horridness matched with a paralyzing fear of it. Then sprinkle that with an obsession with both and you got my day to day nail-biting disposition.
But when P did come back on this night, hoarse voiced, dog tired, and all it was very much a relief and calming. That was a good night. I had thought maybe a hot comforting meal would be best. I did sour cream mash potatoes with braised brussel sprouts and a turkey meatloaf all hot out of the oven.
He was hours later than expected so it was a small bummer to keep up the enthusiasm. Especially when I have so little to give. I even waited outside for about an hour with a big goofy smile on my face but his cab never came. About a million others came to see some dippy strange broad waving and looking anxious. And no matter how happy I am, my face always looks pretty tired after 2 hours. The eyes never lie, unfortunately. But now looking back on it, all the troubles that day seem so small in comparison to what many people are going through a month later. This last few years has made me realize we are in a new world where natural disasters will become commonplace and normal griping about life is more of a privilege or a luxury.

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