Old Man Take A Look at My Life, I'm A Lot Like You

I enjoyed a take-out Steak & Corn salad from Habana To Go and was excited that I had my own homemade hot sauce to eat with it, along with some of their guacamole and chips.  I know what it takes to put a meal together even if it's work I love, it's still work.  So when I begin a meal like this where I made little to no effort, endorphins and serotonin shoot out like fireworks.  Foodies will know this feeling.

And I was super happy to receive a pic from my niece of my foodie pops enjoying a nice outdoor lunch in Arizona where he had his peppers that he always eats fresh with his meal.  My dad's strong appetite has always been to me a symbol of his love of life and seeing him take on those raw jalapenos at 96 is such a testament to his strong will.  He is definitely no saint but seeing him tackle a full plate does fill my heart with love for him.

And earlier that day at work the staff cafeteria served these surprisingly cute spinach stuffed ravioli in cream sauce.  I added the vegetables to make it a Primavera.  Even though white pasta, cream and ricotta are all off limits I figured it couldn't hurt to partake in just a few.  Foodies know, when you get a culinary opportunity you should always strike while the oven is hot!

We Were Born Before the Wind

A great day is when a friend from the very distant past appears in New York City and wanders onto our busy sidewalks, making time to see me!  It gets even better when that friend seems to come out of a time warp and conversations pick up where they last left off even if that was over 28 years ago.  

Another former music retail alumni via Wherehouse and Leopold Records.  Whereas he went on to Amoeba and eventually Los Angeles, I went on to Virgin and then New York. He moved along with a group of our old friends but somehow I found myself separated from that herd.  In reality we were all steering our own ships its just that those folks somehow ended up in the same dock. 

I've always been super fuzzy on certain areas of my past especially the parts where people go away.  But in this case whatever messy loose ends I had left, time took care of or at least that's what I'm telling myself.  The truth is that I lost out on years of knowing some of the most interesting people for reasons I can't quite comprehend.  I've always been this way is about the closest I come to a real excuse.

Could I have done it all differently and kept my compadres close?  I'll really never know now.  To consider it is just to make more misery for myself.  I don't know about you but we're all stocked up on regret over here. I had a wonderful time visiting and catching up.  In the end we turned out just fine and no casualties.  This was before MySpace, Facebook and Instagram.  When people dropped out of your life, you just waited for them to call....on the telephone.  So he and I took a walk, we had to go back and consider all the hows and whys without the aid of pictures, timeline and visual memories.  This made me recall one of the best things about my buddy.  Our friendship never got too caught up in present time but thrived more in the mystic.  You know where all the really interesting topics live.

After a jaunt through Central Park and more great conversation, I left my friend yet again.  People come and go in our lives but if we really understood the quality of those experiences and how they shape us, how they are part of who we become I'm not sure we'd handle them quite the same. 

After a full day of socializing, this girl did what any self respecting introvert would do and that was to hole up alone with a take out burger and fries.  The universe thankfully gives us many chances to continue learning and practice gratitude. 

It'll Be Here Better Than Before

P has gone to wander the Midwest again, leaving me to explore dinner take out options after work.  When we order together I always imagine trying something different, new and exciting.   But this time I wanted our usual, the steak and corn salad from Habana to Go.  We've had these where they blow your mind, the steak just cooked to perfection, it's all hot and spicy over that cool bed of greens.  Other times, it's as if it sat around for an afternoon and the steak is chewy.  More times than not, it's been great.  But this time it was so good, with crispy thin chips, grilled corn, steak! over a bed of lettuce, tomato, carrots.  I fortify it with seasoned pinto beans and use the guacamole side as the dressing. 

Time May Change Me, But I Can't Trace Time

June was a fuzzy blur.  Lots of take out food.  I found myself constantly in the need of emotional rescue.  P was advising me daily.  Giving me pep talks, prepping me for the next round.  I was bloodied with one eye swollen shut, had taken a few punches to the gut.  Not in good shape whatsoever. Nothing other than life was happening to me but that alone was enough to take me down to my knees.  I was weak and feeble minded.

I'm in what they call the 'change of life'.  And they ain't kiddin'.  What a whacked out trip it's been so far.  I'm sad, I'm happy.  I want to kill you.  I find you fascinating. I see, smell and feel stuff like I never have before.  Another moment I'm numb to the world.  Everything is new and scary or it's Groundhog Day over and over.  A continuous PMS cycle complete with cramps, high anxiety and a vat of worry.

I knew shit was getting weird when I started hanging with the feral cats.  I found where they stayed and would only sometimes bring food but mostly just go stare at them, take pictures.  I'd gaze at the water off the old piers and go into those deep Sybil trances while riding my bike popping awake only to be shocked at how long I was gone.

Yeah, my sister says when this is over I'll get a clarity and strong sense of self not yet felt before.  I'm all for that.  I even forgot who I was at this point. Be cool to be someone who doesn't cry every two hours. Been hovering in some purgatory of nothingness for too long.  At least they deliver here otherwise I'd be screwed.

Why Do You Build Me Up?

Steak Salad's from Habana to Go are huge.  You really don't need to reinforce them with additional items.  But I do anyway. I like to added zesty lemony tomato chunks, canned pinto or black beans seasoned with chili lime or chunks of avocado.  And for summer, cold chunks of watermelon as a side is a must.

I Can't Be Satisfied, What You Want Me to Do?

Habana to Go Spicy Spinach Taco Party

It's pretty easy to make a taco.  It's really easy to make guacamole.  But to come home and do all the meat and chop the stuff, get all the fresh ingredients can be kind of tedious.  That's why I tell myself when I know I can grab $3 tacos on the corner and in five minutes be done with it.  Plus they do this spicy spinach that I don't even understand how it can be so good. I've tried to watch.  The guy does it in a wok, with pre-blanched greens that he pours this pepper broth on and then fresh lime juice. There is great heat and that citrus to cut through.  So good.  I had my own homemade hot sauce.   My goal is to always have a jar of hot sauce in the fridge like my mom and dad but so far I'm hitting like 20% of the time.

As far as taco's go, these are not amazing.  But they are good.  You know what I mean?  Like the steak and chicken could be flavored more, but nothing is off-putting.  Maybe they could rinse their onions in cold water so they don't taste bitter.  Tacos are very basic so each of the elements needs to shine or it's not spectacular.

But as a say that I think how spoiled we are to have these grand expectations from our corner taco joint.

Habana To Go

Beef and Chicken Tacos before the show

Habana Outpost to Go - Pork Platos

Pork Platos