Tuesday, July 14, 2020

How Come 24 Hours Baby Sometimes Seem to Slip Into Days

Pasta girls know the deep rewards of a glistening bowl of simply dressed noodles.  Tons of garlic and a couple of spoonfuls of pesto, red pepper flakes, Parmesan and Extra Virgin Olive Oil , all tossed with pasta water was all this girl needed to restore her faith in humanity.  A heatwave had spoiled my fantasies of creating selfish, incredible dishes and long adventurous walks while P was away.  Instead I came home each night and after rehydrating, I'd shower and immediately fall into bed.  I was barely able to put on a pot of boiling water, let alone be creative.  But then something incredible happened as I lay there listening to the air conditioner.  Instead of my mind filling with useless thoughts, I was flooded with a giant sense of gratitude and luck to be here, in Brooklyn, at this time, at this moment, alone but not feeling lonely.  It was like the whole room, the whole apartment was breathing in and out with me.  Everything was filled with this beautiful peace and stillness.  Yes, it was hot riding home but I took a long shower and felt refreshed and invigorated. Yes, I was tired but now I was home from work and I could watch dumb movies or read stupid articles about whatever I wanted while relaxing comfortably!  It'd be cool to make something new but honestly, what makes me the most happy is a large bowl of pasta dressed as my mood in that moment.  So every obstacle popped like balloons from my mind, until I was left with a perfect stillness.   I'd never been able to feel this level of contentment before, not like this. 
And it was all real.  I ate, then made a huge glass of lemon seltzer and settled in for a night of incredible solitude. 

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