Touch, Feel and Lose and Cry, Cry, Cry

This Chicken Mushroom Rice stewpy casserole was a quickie after work creation that I loved and would make again if only I could recall how I did it. I suppose there are multiple ways to get to the same outcome but nothing is coming to mind even though it was less than a month ago.  The roasted asparagus and mushrooms on top with Parmesan was a great new way to add vegetables instead of drowning them in the liquid. Plus, roasting separately leaves their color and integrity.

Speaking of integrity, Ryan Adams, an artist I treasure if only for certain works and times in my life has been accused of sexual misconduct.  This was also the dreaded day when the door opened for all musicians to be called on the carpet for their discretion's.  I would imagine lights have just lit up inside millions of girl's heads reading this news. Surely there are going to be so many others coming forward.  The 80's hairbands, rap groups, the 60's and 70's, my goodness - that was the wild west.  I see this unending assembly line of disgruntled heart worn gals coming to state their claims.  I'm trying to get a handle on my stance so that I can either argue intelligently or join the army of empowered women.  But relationship behavior between men and women is so very complicated and specific. It's messy. Like snowflakes, each unique with hundreds of considerations. And we should consider all of them.  But first off we can all get behind the law.  14 year old kids are off limits as sexual prey for 40 year old men.  Done deal. Laws are in place, lawyers know what to do, it’s understood.  Murkier, albeit gross and disheartening is texting and pursuing them without real physical contact.  The devil would be in the details here. I am less clear on the legislation and implications of all that weirdness. I want a professional to chime in, in that case.  A musician with power that uses it improperly to gain good songs or makes promises to get sex but doesn't follow through. A husband that doesn’t support you or manipulates you....normally I file that in, unfortunate but none of my business.  Get a good divorce lawyer. But now its in my face several clicks a day, so naturally I am compelled to dissect the information. So far, it sounds like he’s showing patterns for using women but I’m not hearing a crime there for the court system, except the one that is being investigated for another matter, which is pretty serious. But before we know if he’s guilty of anything, he will get publicly lynched basically. Right now though before we continue this much needed war on the abuse of power we definitely must put focus on the other silent victim, the art.

You want to hear my fucking truth?  Art is not the guilty party. Art needs some type of protective rights just like helpless babies and kittens, rescue dogs, the wild horses of Arizona, the tired, hangry polar bears.  The creator is not the art. This means something. I believe the division is crucial here.

The punishment should fit the crime. If you rape or kill someone, you should go to jail.  If you make a killer song or record before, during or after that work should be protected. Companies should put art out based on it's value, not the artist's virtuous standing, in my opinion.  I am very torn over companies acting as judge and jury over individuals.  I'm nervous that our quick clicks after reading these sensationalized news articles become actual verdicts.  With that power we now hold comes great responsibility.

The public and corporations are issuing sentences without trials, without proper journalism in some cases or complete facts.

I don't know if I even want to be part of deciding these types of complicated matters.  I hate any rules around art or expression period actually. Where does it end? At some point are works going to be squashed because there wasn't proper representation of all the groups in the cast of a movie, for example?  Yeah, uh listen Spielberg, you didn't include a quadriplegic and a Pan Asian so we had to pull the plug on your new project.  Oooh, too bad, close though, looked like it was gonna be epic too! And will we, regular Joes need to own a 3-legged dog and know 2 multiracial couples, 3 lesbians and a tranny in order to get a car loan eventually?   It sounds crazy now but in a year's time? In a recent job interview my mate had to give multiple examples of what he has done in his life for cultural diversity in the world. He’s a freaking facilities manager! But the craziest part was the next question. Mind you, this was by the psychiatrist that was part of the interview process, And the question was Not are you well versed in heating units. Or are you up to date on your fire safety director certificate. No, it was to give Chapter names to the most important moments in your life. You can't make this stuff up!

To Phoebe Bridges I say, this sounds like a good life lesson, especially when pursuing a musical career - maybe a mixed blessing since this was a mutual consensual relationship and possibly no real damage done.  It's unfortunate but you have to live and learn with that stuff, it isn't a crime to be an asshole, yet.  You pursued him in your own words because you heard he could be influential to careers.  How did that become sexual-ized for you my dear girl?  It's two different ball games.  He's a real jerk to dangle the apple for personal gains but you are making choices.  Those choices have risks and consequences.  Rape is not a choice. That's why we need to be very careful with putting those two together.  Bad decisions are unfortunate and sometimes life changing but not life threatening.

Hey girl, I totes feel you.  Many women can certainly relate.  And Mandy Moore - psychological manipulation?  Again, been there. Regrettable? Certainly.  You said it, if it lead you to this new man that's 100 times what your bad marriage held, that is your personal life and road.  It's all part of living and growing.  It takes two to tango but sometimes you just get a bad egg and if you're strong enough you get the hell out of there and build yourself back up.  I completely want to support those women. And also agree with Phoebe, your friends are slightly complicate and we should put pressure on them to say something, like you would a suspicious bag on a train. But you sharing your truth also holds much power these days. We need to learn to use it wisely. It's a little confusing for someone like me to go from the era where no one believed women to you must believe all women always or you are dead to me.   If we don't watch it women and society will be guilty of what we're so damned damaged by, this misuse of power. 

The actual art or product whether it be food, movies, music or songwriting, whatever, is very valuable to society and should be protected.  Selfishly I have to say I consider the art form as the true precious commodity here. While all of us very imperfect humans try to work all of this out we must consider the defenseless. I think creativity sometimes comes out of our most deranged twisted folks.  Do we have to throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak? For example, no one I speak to is surprised at all about the accusations because even though I adore so much of Ryan's music, it was no secret in town years ago that his behavior was less than stellar as a regular human walking the planet.  He was an immature little punk with new money and a penchant for young girls. And his songwriting wasn’t always brilliant but sometimes it was. I just read that based on written stories and an upcoming investigation the unreleased albums are now being squashed immediately including 2 on Blue Note Records. I get that it’s a smart business decision but are these companies really doing us a service by cutting off the art itself?  I also get the artist would be monetarily rewarded but isn’t that our decision to make? I don’t have the answers but their must be another way. I just see us losing more freedoms navigating creativity by a moral compass. After all, so much of that side of this argument is driven by the original hater, Mr. mean green himself, the almighty dollar.  And we all know he is not that sensitive, so we need to stop pretending companies have real hearts, accept that they are equally flawed and realize when we are being manipulated.  Grow from those mistakes, just like Mandy Moore.

So this comes to my second problem, the absolute blacking out of someone completely.  We've all seen the big shut down on people.  Society just pulls down the lever and lights out, you are basically done forever.  Is that how we want to be dealt with ourselves?  It's so like a scary Black Mirror episode to me. I am a little nervous about what is coming next as we continue to shape one proper behavior?  We're losing our freedoms right and left in an effort to create safety and be woke.  Do we seriously want to go back to the ways of the old Testament?  We want to work through life to be good people via our own paths and experiences, not ruled by the rod again.