Tik Tok, Tik Tok, Tik Tok

Tik Tok trends in food are sometimes worth trying.  This was a bad photo and bad first attempt at this taco burger idea. (or was it my third try?)   However, on further tries, this proved to be a cool and easy way to make a burger-like snack. The trick is a hot pan, a very thinly spread patty to the edge of the tort (very important), flip onto the grill, meat side down and then press it down with a spatula. Then flip again and cheese it.  This all happens quickly.  Crisp the tortilla just enough so that it still bends.  But if you want to stuff with burger toppings, you should use a taco holder.  This way it keeps its shape.

and doesn't get all stiff and unnatural looking....

I admit, I hate the fact that Madonna morphed herself into this grotesque creature in the last decade but only because I root for her.  I want her to be okay and happy.  I want that for all of us.  Besides, with all her flaws and flesh worship, she still gave us quite a bit of great music, even though many of us stopped caring after a certain point.  The music and relentless touring should be recognized.  I can't get myself to work five days a week but she kept her body strong and in top shape for a very long time.  Now she is looking what I think most women recognize as not being okay. She's sick, unwell.  So, I root for her still, even with that god awful face. 

We Have a Connection, Home is Where the Heart Should Be

Cashew Lettuce Wraps

I followed this recipe, but used ground turkey for this Asian oral sensation. Lots of Umami happening in these edible cups with the ginger, soy, Hoisin, garlic combo.  The toast on the cashews, then biting into fresh green onions and the crisp iceberg is so satisfying and bright. 

I'm a retail lifer it turns out.  I've seen many a company, sold many things from eye glasses to music to home furnishings.  I grew up in a factory town where giant companies were king.  A person could build a life when they signed on to Magnavox or Sunbeam Bread, General Electric or International Harvester.  Things have changed in many ways.  I work for a larger retailer and it is solid, we are even going to make a bonus this year for the first time in 10 years.  However, unlike before when you worked for a faceless company, now there is more of a connection, a unified goal.  These institutions are going down, stability is no-longer guaranteed.  When I sell a kitchen, I feel like it does matter, not just to some top executive collecting a fat paycheck somewhere but to the whole of the staff.  When I see a major retailer closing, its a scar from this lashing we all just took in the pandemic.  And I remember being a child when the aforementioned factories shut down in my town and the headlines were full of suicides and tragic stories.  People lost their homes and kids I went to school with, their families split up.  PCP became a dominant drug in town. So, this is a new relationship because before when money was pouring in, it was hard to see how important these big machines are to our economic health overall.  I had forgotten how whole towns can be affected in so many dreadful ways.  The long-haul supply issue has lasted up to two years and has been a major weigh down of our infrastructure where I work.  As it begins to subside, I see how great our foundations were built.  All of these connected designers, manufactures, delivery drivers, shipping companies, packaging methods, etc work to bring us to these end results, which is a family cooking dinner in their brand new affordable, relatively green, organized kitchen and in turn, I get to make these lettuce cups on a hot summer day in my over-priced non-renovated Brooklyn apartment that I wouldn't trade for anything.  

For breakfast a griddle taco finished in the oven to let the eggs puff up and shell to get nice and toasted, topped with pico de gallo.

And You Can't Keep a Secret From the Ground Beneath You

Pizza Burger 

With P gone, I tried to restart my love affair with food.  Preparing meals had lost some luster during the Pandemic and has felt more a necessity than pleasure.  Ideas weren't flowing, cravings were just faint whispers.  It's a slow climb back to cooking with carefree passion again.  I hope it comes back.  Even this was a half-assed attempt.  The toasted garlic rubbed, oiled Ciabatta bread was a nice topper to this zesty pizza burger but in the end, I lost steam and only had energy to open a can of soup to serve alongside.  In better days, I would have added mushrooms, onions and possibly green olives, slathered the sauce on and definitely served a zippy, fresh side.  Meh.  I did broil the burgers and that developed the flavors. 

I took a walk around the neighborhood to get some perspective and felt the universe was trying to communicate in these abstract images.  

The shortest story ever told

An imprisoned giant stuffed elephant laying on a couch with garbage bags

An S shaped tree plant and interesting door in an abandoned building across from the underpass

A pumpkin patch graveyard

Breakfast was a bright note with yogurt, fruit and nuts

You're a Superstar, Yes That's What You Are, You Know it

Everywhere I go there are little purple flowers that show my mom's influence from heaven. 

Fashion is pretty out there right now for celebrities for sure but unlike the shocking punk era, more and more regular folks have all kinds of hair colors, are wearing pants of every shape and size and in general, having a real go at self expression.  Its so subtle, it can go unnoticed but if you pay attention, you'll see some radical ways of looking modern normal, I'll call it.   Where I work, there is an entire more distinct revolution in hair design going on that sometimes makes me gasp.  Colors and lengths never imagined.  Even though I don't follow the industry of fashion, I've always been super interested that it mirrors society and what is going on politically.  In New York there is a global language so it varies quite a bit.  And the internet world bleeds out onto the streets by showing its influence as well.  It's just an observation that many young girls dress like they are celebrities.  And I only sneer at this because I believe the focus should be on the producing of artful things.  You become worthy of looking interesting when you are indeed that.  Its more of an organic process where you transform. But sometimes you gotta look it to be it, so whatever works. I'm pro-mixing it up actually because inspiration sometimes comes from within. 

This is me trying to look fancy and impress my mom on a visit back to Fort Wayne after I had left to become something.

There are still plenty of old school Brooklynites in their giant shorts and bad muscle tees with sports logos or super hero characters and their wives squeezed like sausage into some too tight non-breathing fabric.  So it balances out.  You really can't count what goes on in Manhattan because it's no longer a real borough but a giant outdoor mall filled with visitors. 

I dressed up a traditional recipe to fit the times with this Ground Turkey Zstrogonoff made with zucchini ribbons.  Yogurt and lemon replaced the sour cream.  Plenty of fresh thyme brightened the whole vibe of the pan.  This was a winner in both the visual and taste categories.

Where's the Party? I Want to Lose Control.

The one day this year, mind you the hottest summer on record, that we decide to do a fun day trip to Jones Beach it is not only downright cold but rainy.  How incredibly appropriate to the shit year in some ways.  I was absolutely not beach ready but I made the effort to scan the last chance racks at the local stores to find a small size in the ocean of extra large bottoms and mismatched tops big enough to make a hammock for me and my sister.  The stripes were going to the wrong way but the colors didn't make me gag and more importantly it fit.  We was just looking to have a little fun.

When we arrived we figured the clouds would burn off and the sun would eventually appear, even though the radar stated otherwise.  It was actually super peaceful just to lay there on the soft sand and listen to the waves crash on the beach.

Until drops of rain that I could no longer ignore started coming down at a faster pace.

At one point more and more people were joining in the hopes that this day would shape up.  We even had a life guard on duty even though not many folks braved the big waves.  It was super early though, we like to go before the crowds flow in.

P was still acting like either of us was willing to jump in this ominous surf, obviously trying to psyche himself up.  I was already seeking out the nearby lunch spots knowing quite well there was no way in hell I was getting in that water.

We took a walk along the empty boardwalk and found the restaurants weren't serving for an hour.  Seeing as I was using my towel as a coat and had to hold my hat against the wind, the good times had become our ability to see humor in all of this. 

Even this group packed it up and left after the rain and wind made it impossible to pretend this was pleasant.

Party's over chicken bone!  As my friend Nick used to say to me back in San Francisco when our good times would have to come to an abrupt end for various reasons.  Back to the homestead.  There I made a hot and cold taco salad with a fun dill Havarti cheese and Red Hot Blue Corn Chips. 

And I Feel Like I Just Got Home

This is a new take on brunch, eggs and zucchini with black rice.  Getting a little crisp on leftover seasoned rice can really replace the taste of a piece of bacon or sausage in my book.  Creamy light scrambled eggs with a little cheese and a bright vegetable is an experience.  And its filling without being heavy.  There is something about warm freshly made fluffy eggs that feels like home.

We Only Got 4 Minutes to Save the World

I would call this a rare occasion now but Chinese Take Out can be a really tasty, cheap dinner option.  Less than five minutes and you're out of there. And everything is freshly prepared right in front of you.  MSG triggers my migraines and although David Chang from Mind of a Chef assures me that not enough is used to be harmful, I still get major headaches.  But it can be worth it when shrimp, and big chunky tender vegetables in a tasty sauce is your reward. Spicy mustard and soy (also a trigger) on those fried egg rolls is a taste to live for!

Keep it Together. Keep it Together for Ever and Ever

I saw Madonna perform on a video clip where she apparently did something to her behind.  I was shocked and horrified. And then I felt genuinely sad.  I'm not this huge fan, although I have enjoyed her career and music throughout many years of it and always rooted for her.  I admire so many aspects of her talents and bravery.  I am not one of those that feel she needs to act her age or cover up her wrinkly aging parts. But full disclosure, at times when it was no longer interesting to me, I secretly wished she'd just give it a rest.  To be honest, I've been a little concerned about her mental health in recent months.  There seem to be a succession of strange cracks in her public image foundation.   A collection of weird, sloppy, possibly drunken live performances on You Tube.  That clown act she did at her benefit was mixed with a bit of authentic koo koo.  Her benefit, by the way where she raised over 7.5 million dollars for young girls!  An incredible feat.  Her performance though, it bordered uncomfortable for me and her voice was not good. Same with her Prince tribute.  I really hate to say it but also that face!  Her cheeks resembling all those bad cat drag queen ladies who can't afford better surgeons.  And now an exaggerated rear.  She had the cutest tiny ass.

But women need to support other women and not knock them down.  Madonna has earned her high place of honor in pop music history, period.  I can't even imagine what it must be like to live on a public stage and have every move scrutinized for decades.  I couldn't do it.  I know that.  But she did do it, for so long.  She seems to get her tiny tight ass out there grinding for her audience each night and I assume having a great time displaying her art.  I didn't notice her initial surgeries much but now it's all I see when I look at her. I guess I do feel some sort of anger towards her.  Madonna and all the shelebrity's that choose to nip and tuck away their aging. I'm only 4 years younger than Madonna.  I want to see strong women my age that look like me continue doing wonderful things, but as is.  So quickly we went from a few to being hard pressed to find one star who didn't reconstruct all their parts.  Is this what it is now?  And if that's true, why put energy in getting all disappointed.  Maybe it's time to try compassion.  I just admitted I couldn't imagine going through that scrutiny.

But that's just it.  In my selfish mind, now I must imagine and go through getting older alone.  Madonna realized her dreams and success, all the comforts and pampering she wanted.  And yet she awoke one day to figure what she really needed or wanted was larger ass cheeks?  No, no, that's not the answer I was looking for!  P says she's always lived by the sword so why am I so surprised.  Maybe in my crystal ball of hope, Madonna or one of our other strong She-rahs was going to shock us all by aging in place. Still outrageous but in their own skin. And by doing that, showing us a new way of seduction.  In other words if she can't or won't live out her time in her own body as blessed as she's been, then where does that leave me?

As a woman I feel responsibility to the union.  Society needs to progress. Men and women both carry portions of that duty.  We're living longer.  That means the majority of our life would now be with a form that is fast becoming unacceptable, even at 35.  I already feel what it is like to become invisible and irrelevant just because I'm passed my shtupping prime.  I'm not looking to be ogled but never expected to be so ghostly this early on. Women need to join together to remain significant and evident.  We have so much more to give and are capable of much more than starting boners.  

Madge gave an emotional speech at the Billboard Award show as she received Woman of the Year.  And I was moved hearing her story.  I don't doubt her sincerity.  In a tough to swallow pill, I feel she stood there showing us all what we have done to her.  A decorated soldier.  A survivor of many battles.  She was strong but changed profoundly, wounded and battered, hanging on to what is rightly hers.  All her history was everything in her stance, in her chosen clothes, how she spoke and what she said.

But the war Madonna described, was so near to what many of us women have experienced as well.  Her words were timely, and truthful and she sort of looked how I feel up there most days, very vulnerable.  And why I finally felt real compassion for her.  She finally became a person to me.  We do need to watch out for each other, support other women, collaborate and work together, raise each other up.   Raising millions of dollars for young girls is something a strong person does.  Sticking around 30 some odd years in an industry that didn't even survive itself defines strength.  Giving a speech exposing yourself takes courage. I'm going to do her a solid and congratulate her on her award and accomplishments and stop worrying about her.

I think this is going to be a breakthrough year for women.  I feel a quake coming out of necessity.  Maybe Hillary put that much more stress on the fault line.

For dinner a baked Mediterranean delight.  Baked lemon chicken with black olives and roasted chick peas served alongside red quinoa with garlic spinach.  I wasn't expecting it to be so sexy looking.

Express Yourself, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey

I'm so impressed by how people come to New York from every country and learn the language and just get at it.  Accomplishments of immigrants are vast, yet not acknowledged much.  They are more expected and accepted as 'what you do'.  I have half-heartedly tried to learn Spanish through the years dozens of times and failed miserably, even seemed to regress a bit, not even able to curse.  At my job there is such diversity in our consumer base.  Hearing every type of accent all day long and walks of life, people communicating their needs in all levels of ability.   I am in constant awe.  That is when I'm not hating on everything.

I am fascinated with the art of communication too but have my own handicaps with conventional means.  I fear the phone somehow and even have a slight phobia with calling people I love.  I love writing but people are busy and don't have time to read my nonsense half the time.  I like talking with close friends but in the flesh and when we really have time to get into it.  I'm not good with small talk.  I like to show how I feel through pictures and music, movies and my favorite, food.

Food is the international language.  Even in pictures of meals, I see what is happening - there is a story in the dish or the pot.  And for me, it's such a treat to see someone else's plate. This morning an extra warm embrace was needed for breakfast and nothing harsh would do.  The day had to be met with a soft cloud of comfiness.  Fresh boiled tomatillo sauce blended with an avocado and a little greek yogurt to temper the heat of the jalapenos.  Poached eggs on top like pillows to rest my weary mind.  This pretty much said it all for me.

And then I was prepared to enjoy this beautiful day and appreciate good things like colors and flowers and blue skies!  All because I relayed an easy calm meal to start it.