Limitless Undying Love Which Shines Around Me Like a Million Suns

There is sadness or hardship around many of the days in winter I imagine for most people, especially in cold weather towns.  I'm not sure how others feel but also getting older wouldn't be so bad if you didn't look so haggard, feel like crap half the time and more people you loved hadn't passed.  Today was another death anniversary, my father's.  These days are inevitable but come with loads of emotion.  This morning I watched videos and remembered my dad's giant sense of humor and big love of food.  On these sad occasion days, one must work at not filling up with self deprecating thoughts instead of simply honoring the deceased. 

Make your own chips and salsa but when you can't, these brands are second best

I thought a Taco Salad for lunch could be made more memorable by adding roasted grape tomatoes and chick peas.  I put tons of cilantro into the lettuce mix, sweet onions, black beans, cheddar cheese and chips.  I used a great salsa for the dressing and I think my dad would have said, That's all you're making?!?  and most likely hated it. There in lies the humor.  

Using salsa as dressing is so much better than you'd imagine.

Food wise it was hard to impress my folks but to their credit, they were such great cooks both of them, like presenting a song to Paul and John. 

Everything feels related to the Beatles in one way or another since watching Get Back, the Peter Jackson documentary.  It's comforting to obsess on subjects in order to work through tough times in your life.  So I continued the trend by watching one of my favorite movies, I Am Sam which features accurate witty insightful Fab Four related gems by Annie, played by Dianne Wiest, an awesome Beatles covers soundtrack as well as being filled with tear-jerking zingers.   It was 65 degrees in February today but I felt more comfortable in a dark room being still and getting my feels out.  

Annie is relatable in that she is comfortable giving advice from her home but struggles with leaving it.  This movie is a must for Beatles fans. 

During this period, P handmade a frame and Ringo was erected in order to recall the calm Tao of Pooh vibes that he emitted in the footage above all 4. 

We're on Our Way Home

Anyone who watched the Get Back docuseries undoubtedly struggles to return to a life void of the Fab Four.  We lack that vivid color in our world right now.  The miracle that Peter Jackson accomplished in this film should be registered with the Vatican.  The clarity of the boys on screen and the seamless continuity of the conversations and story-line placed them smack dab in the middle of our here and now. Instead of us going back, he brought them to us, which made the difference of being a pleasant film to a timely, new, much needed experience.   I think we should all count this as one of our 3 wishes granted by our genie.  How often did you long for some intimate moment with those 4, at some point in your life and we finally got it!  Get Back is nothing short of magic.

Meat and Tater Soup - Speaking of magic. I was immediately inspired to jump in the kitchen and create this soup after watching the film.

This film was crafted so perfectly that it's easier to say what wasn't your favorite moment than trying to make a list as many did.   It's natural that we go back and realize or remember what the Beatles meant to us, how they are woven into our collective fabric, how they were key at times in our lives, part of our past.  And all of those stories are important and meaningful but the real wonderment is how they affect us again here, now.  Experiencing them in 2022, feels like sighting a UFO hovering over Central Park, in brilliant scope and clarity.  Besides wanting to claim them and pin them on our personal past, what do they teach us now?

Jackson shows us complicated love relationships, the struggles when it's tough and the elation when it is working.  As they each prepare to move on to the unknown, we see them doing their best, which at times isn't always great.  We relate, in that we are failing partly during this huge change we are in.  Seeing the Paul McCartney biting his nails, John unwilling to focus, George being snarky and Ringo asleep at the drums, humanizes these icons in a way that can mirror parts of ourselves in society right now.   

They show us how in disagreements, there doesn't need to be a villain.  We see the validity of George struggling with his style of learning songs, whilst Paul can't understand why he doesn't just take his direction to save time.  You can't blame Paul for being a genius but it would be testy to work with two at once, as George bloomed into an amazing songwriter in his own right. But they were willing to talk and be honest, say hard truths to each other, something that is forbidden at the moment.

Bestest Moment? That unbelievable instant the unborn song, Get Back, gets it's wings!  Thank God for Jackson, recovering the creative process at the exact moment of the song's conception.  No doubt that was life changing for many of us.  I can only imagine what thousands of ideas those sparks ignited.  

Watching Ringo, even hungover, silently being overwhelmingly adorable filled a hole in us, I believe.  He's all of us walking around right now with sorrowful eyes, observing unbelievable rants and shifts in thought.  We are all John, acting out because he doesn't want to conform to rules or restrictions, getting fidgety now that everything has gotten so serious and boring.  Also us, Paul, trying desperately to keep it together. Not being able to visualize his dream but nonetheless wanting it so deeply.  Feeling like he's in charge of a ship going nowhere, that's starting to leak.  That's us!  We read every day how one more thing could take us down. Lives that were once full of fun and joy, whittled down to grey, bleak hours of nothingness in this pandemic. We can't give up, but there is little light to see. 

Billy Preston represents hope walking in the door when you've exhausted your own ideas.  I'm convinced his smile could heal cancer.  He fixed Get Back in what looked like minutes of being there.  And George was right, they needed a fifth person. George, the least likely to be secure enough to invite others in, seemed the most enthusiastic for outside contributions as Paul and John looked tentative but they each seemed to feel the deep heal when he arrived.  We need a Billy Preston in our lives right now.  We're exhausted.  Unsure of how to move forward in this new world of viruses and conflict, lack of freedoms and a general feeling of the air being taken out of our tires.  

On that note, how about a little camera time for Mr BP.  I mean he did save the damn day on the film's namesake song.  Seemed like he deserved movie footage on that roof, eh? 

Did these fabulous artists allow us to we see our best and worst selves in them?  Was the real revelation that we are all the Beatles, for better or worse?   

At first I thought Jackson corrected history by showing us the joyful comradery of this time but it doesn't change the fact that they were struggling to stay together and had built up animosity towards each other.  They needed desperately to break free as individuals.  You could see they had outgrown the idea of the Beatles.  Both worlds existed simultaneously, just as they do now.  They were multidimensional, we are multidimensional.  We can't deny that we are all so terribly flawed.   We have to learn to talk to each other again. I'm speaking to you, Neil Young and anyone that feels the first response to anything they disagree with is to shut it down. 

Meat and Tater Soup

• 4 strips of bacon fried in large heavy bottomed pot
• Chopped onions, celery, garlic and carrots cooked in the bacon grease
• Diced potatoes and thyme added, salt and pepper
• 5 cups of stock added and all fond scraped from bottom of pan
• In oven, highly season and crumble ground turkey, bake on sheet at 450 for 20 minutes
• With a masher, smash up the potatoes to desired consistency in the pan, leaving some big chunks,
• Add the meat
• Right before serving, take a 1/4 cup of the stock and mix it with 1/2 cup of yogurt and stir in.

Garnish with bacon bits, green onion and sharp cheddar cheese 

Side Notes: 

Yoko - I read folks saying we owe her an apology. I can't agree that her annoyingly close proximity to John the entire recording process, even while quietly reading a magazine, wasn't passive aggression in the 3rd degree.  Whether John wanted her there or not, it was not nothing.  Creating is intimate.  This would be like if you dropped acid in the 70's and one of your 4 friends brought her boyfriend along that didn't partake and sat there next to her  the entire trip. That would be a huge bummer for those tying to connect.   I don't say she broke up what was already busted though.

Ironies - 

When Linda, in maybe her only speaking part, said in the film that Yoko was talking for John at Ringo's house to George and she didn't know if John even felt those things.    

That they spent painstaking time recording dozens of takes of songs to get the live effect and then John ends up giving the record to Phil Spector and he shellacs the whole damn thing with multiple coats. 

Regardless of everything, the music created during this film has a pure life of it's own.

This Doesn't Have to Be the Big Get Even

Something snapped at work and I am now able to smile on my nemesis', most days anyway.  Instead of toiling inside I leave her and others like her, be, and more sincerely than I have before, treat her nicely, wish her well, don't take any of her shit, but also don't give any back.  It's a nice little gift from the universe.  

Actually, watching George Harrison deal with McCartney and Lennon in the documentary Get Back sealed the deal in a way.  He knew it was time he created songs in a new world of his own creation, not live in someone else's, not that it was bad - in any way, it was simply time.  He was given unique gifts as well and felt the drive to get them out into the world.  In so many ways, it was incredibly brave of John and George to get their own music out there when connected to such a cash cow, that was the Beatles.  Seeing Paul nervous to let them go, even though he held the market share of talent helped me to see everyone holds struggles, even those that aren't as apparent. 

Bok Choy and Soy noodles with Mushroom and Chicken

I've allowed myself to live in the world of some bullies at work for more years than I'd like to admit.  I didn't know how to move out of it, at times consuming me.  I thought it might be about the fight, at first.  Then, I tried ignoring their energy, as if they didn't exist but that only proved to make them more real in my head.  I found solace in other newcomers to the department, experiencing similar struggles with them.  Realizing that it wasn't just me, not personal, but a legitimate matter helped a good deal.  Maybe I didn't deserve this basement of a life.  All of the sudden, like the bottom dropping out of this spinning absurdity, all my own anger and resentment fell away that I had been carrying around towards them.  I don't feel the need to respond at all anymore.  I'm not ignoring them intentionally as before, simply allowing them to be stinky, without me, while sending good energy their way because it must be a bummer for them too.  And it's made the world of difference.  Like I've let myself out of a self made prison.  

Get Back to Where You Once Belonged

This was one of those first Saturdays in spring when the sun started shining down on things that have been in the dark all winter. Not this winter of course, it was really nice but I'm talking generally.

The streets become so festive with all the restaurants offering dining el fresco.

The Flea Market is in full swing and the food is fast, hot and ready. Sardine sandwich anyone?

People seem friendlier but that's just because they are happy to be out. Don't get it confused with happy to see 'you' per say.

Even P's beer store seemed sun-drenched, healthy and communal.

Trees and flowers are blossoming in colors that seem unnatural.

On every main street there are small restaurants that have character and are the best place to have brunch.

But we had the most fabulous smoked baked ham waiting for us. So I just had to make ham and eggs, fried potatoes with toast and coffee and orange juice.

I mean its all great to see what you could be doing if you wanted to spend a little and treat yourself.

But sometimes the best place to be is in your own little Brooklyn apartment. Move it over cat!