Saturday, September 14, 2019

You Can Still Change Your Mind

P left for yet another unannounced road trip out into that vast freedom infested unknown.  He is lucky in that he has a car that leads him to open space, other towns, out of the city, out of the reality of home base. Like the winding wheel, where he stops, nobody knows.  I get a little jealous but truth is that I'm happy for him, that he has the freedom to do that.  Me, I don't drive, don't have a car and that's why I take so many voyages of the mental variety.  I stayed in place and made this Veggetti in a tomato sauce and took multiple servings to work for consecutive days. 

I like to leave the gate open in relationships because I'd never want someone to stay out of an obligation.  I feel if you know you can leave and still decide not to, it's much better than being confined to laws and restrictions, guilt or commitment.  That's not to say marriage doesn't mean anything to me, but that is why I always feared it's formal ceremony.  It felt so rigid as opposed to my inner beliefs that the way to be together is to stay engaged, to never get complacent in a partnership or it becomes stagnant.  Not rely on a piece of paper but to keep working it like a dough. Whatever happens always feels like the right thing to me, until the day it doesn't, and then I guess you figure it out. 

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