My Freedom I Hold Dear

Corn Porn Salad

I love making salads from the last of the sweet summer corn.  Somehow it becomes more special when you know it's going away.  I made extra and took a bowl to work for lunch.   

                                         

You can't fully appreciate a fresh healthy salad without the juxtaposition of some Strawberry Cake with Whipped Cream, someone once said.   The corner market sells delicious cake and pie by the slice, which is perfect for those of us who like the one and done method.  I'm not comfortable with sweets lying around my home, taunting me.  This was so moist and soft.  I enjoyed it as a last indulgence before my mate returned home from his trip.

Both the largest cauliflower and celery bunches I have ever laid eyes on, were on display today.

Instead of a free-wheelin' time, P's adventure was fraught with turmoil.  It seems some gal T-Boned him in West Virginia and totaled his beloved car.  Then the rest of the time was spent figuring out insurance and how to get back.  A sad end to a cool free ride and way out of this city on weekend getaways.  But like many good things, this wagon came to an end.  RIP, the Paddy Wagon.  Thank God that's the only thing that died out there.

In anticipation of his return and to help ease some of the sorrow, I slow-roasted a pork shoulder with Nigella Lawson's aromatic spice mixture.  The smell would fill the house as I would not be in it when he came home.  I love it when he goes away but I love it more when he comes back. 

Going for the One

Cravings are odd.  I just had to have refried, cheesy beans and sauced up rice today.  Out of all the fun foods to make for myself, there was nothing other than this for me on this day.  So yes, it's just a can of beans, to some, but first I toast the cumin, add minced garlic and onions, then as they become warmed through, I add a nice mild cheddar, a little sour cream. It all melts until it becomes creamy.  I whipped up some Mexican rice and added a ridiculous amount of homemade hot sauce, then used these low carb tortillas. like Nan, to scoop up every last morsel sans fork.  Eating food in the Indian style is sensual and different.  Opposite to different actually, it feels, correct.

It was very satisfying, and way too heavy but that's the point during these days, to indulge in impractical food fantasies that are specific only to me. 

We've Come Too Far to Leave It All Behind

It has become a tradition that when P leaves for a road trip, I must make a pot of comforting either girly pasta or this, my sister's famous meat and mushroom sauce.   Again, this is something we made growing up that was 'ours' alone, meaning my folks were both big cooks but never ever did they ever make pasta.  When sister broke out with this back when, I was in love at first bite!  Tangy, spicy, silky noodles!  I'm in, and have been and will be forever.  I make it when alone because it gives me comfort.  Makes me feel love and remember what it felt like to have sisters living within minutes away that I could go visit.  It seems like a dream now.  A world where I could get in my car, drive to my sisters's, eat amazing spaghetti, drink a few beers, get stoned, then drive home safely.  And this could happen whenever we felt like it, for a long period of time.  Now, none of my sisters are near.  Currently, communication with T is nil, nada, zilch, goose egg.  She wants nothing to do with me.  How does that happen?   How could I let something that cool slip away?

Back here in the now, being solo, I'm noticing different things in my path.  The nativity scene at the Red Hook church that I ride past, that was never taken down now has the baby Jesus strewn up on the roof of the manger and stays there to this day.  I wondered at first if it was vandalism, now thinking it may be intentional to show His rising.  The whole scene is most unusual.  

At work we're supposed to give people a QR code so they can 'rate us'.  They post it on a web page and also on the big screen in the back hallway.  Green means you did good, red is a bad, dissatisfied customer.  As a store, they affect our overall approval ratings and bonuses, allegedly.  It's something I refuse to do, because it feels demeaning.   But someone snuck in there and I found it hysterical that their comment was that I'm 'easy to spend time with'.  That might be the biggest compliment I've ever received actually and certainly lately.  Tombstone worthy perhaps. 

It's Time to Move On, It's Time to Get Going

I started my day with what I thought was a common cold until I woke up the next day and felt like I had contacted a mega virus.  I'm not a guy, so I can handle a simple cold but this was weird. It was like the exaggerated colds actors portray on bad TV.  Every few minutes I was sneezing, couldn't breathe, achy everything and miserable, had that horrid voice.  I could only get up to get more tea and tissues. I even took to rubbing Vick's on my throat and nose.  Thank goodness I had the foresight to make a huge vat of homemade chicken soup before it spun out.  When you need a medicinal soup, I like to be very rustic.  Big chunks of cabbage, unpeeled potatoes, carrots, celery, tomatoes, chicken and real stock.

P was to leave the next morning for an ambiguous trip with an unknown timeline.  I encouraged this because of his recent departure from a job of 17 years.  Anyone would need to make a permanent disconnect from that life before beginning a new one.  He needs to start again with fresh eyes and vision. Everything will change for him.  I know what it's like to do a job that doesn't suit you.  As if without your permission parts of your real self begin fading until one day you struggle to remember them or if they ever even existed.  We are not in the beginning of our adventure here on the planet however, so it was a great idea to motivate the change with a little road trip kick start.  Not many things are free anymore but gas is still cheap and as if a kept promise, the free car he obtained last year and has been reparking twice a week served as the perfect vehicle.

I'm hoping to ride the change as well and feed off the momentum to divert my retail imprisonment. In life at the onset of any major shift I've become very sick as if my body needs to also readjust and realign in order to guide the brain and soul.  I'm not one of the folks that works through their ailments and toughs it out though.  No, my body is the boss a me and I listen.  The nuns said it was temple and I aim to treat it as such now that I learned its value over the years the hard way.