Every Little Step I Take, You Will Be There

I served half of a tree for dinner with a Chicken Piccata .  The broccoli was like giant round heads that easily sliced in two and roasted so beautifully.  I added a little mayonnaise with a squeeze of lemon to mine and used boneless thighs instead of breasts for added flavor.

We had two consecutive days of all day rain so I was forced to board the subway or the COVID train, I'm calling it.  Actually, pleasantly, most people were trying to distance and most were double masked, some adding face guards.  These were the folks that most likely have been doing a commute since the virus began and have made their ride safer in doing so.  In fact, many of the faces showed signs of grief, and I realized these were the folks that most likely lost family members back in March.  They were taking this safety thing seriously.  I took notes and will also use this method.  But commute times are usually jammed packed, so I'm wondering if that many people left the city or are working from home, maybe a bit of both but the difference was sizeable.  Everyone was blue collar workers, I saw no New York Times yielding suits or high-heeled ladies in business attire.  Also missing were all the 30-something hipsters.  It wouldn't be possible to be safe on a normal morning with everyone back on board, so for now it was a relief to see them missing but what does it mean for the city?  Time will tell what lurks deep in February when there will be no other way to get around for most.  

Every inch we step back into a packed society is a little scarier.  Trains, busses, the grocery stores, are all more crowded, the bodegas have always been packed with the produce workers, maneuvering like ninjas around a conveyor belt of shoppers.  My job is allowing in more people at a time and we are beginning in-person, 1-on-1 appointments lasting up to 2 hours, with only a plastic face guard in-between us in 2 weeks.  I wish I could switch with some of the folks that are fighting for their freedom to be unmasked in crowded spaces.  I understand all the slippery slopes of rights but on the other end of that argument, there are folks that choose to be safe, but our jobs and ways of getting to those jobs don't allow us that same right necessarily.  Choices are made by economic necessity and if we fight them, we lose out and there will always be someone to fill our shoes that is more desperate, or poor.  

Tip: One of the best things about Chicken Piccata for me is being able to eat entire lemon slices and the flavors are other-worldly.  Take your lemons and throw them in boiling water for a minute before cleaning them thoroughly with a towel and then slice.  Because if you're going to eat that rind, you want to make sure it's free of chemicals and this melts off that wax.  Also, lay the slices under the chicken for full flavor boost. 

You Don't Know How it Feels To Be Me

Doctored Whole Foods PIzza 

For eight dollars you can feed two people with these Whole Foods frozen pizzas.  We try to stay away from prepared food in general but Pandemic living has changed that slightly.  When your choices are either completely homemade meals or take out, then these little in-between helpers are a nice compromise but not too often because it's a slippery slope.  Letting our guard down can come with consequences. 

A friend recently wrote and asked me how it was working in retail right now.  Such a loaded question, it took me aback as I forget much of the population is dealing with entirely different issues, that somehow we're even more isolated than before.  It's been a long strange trip even looking back to only four months ago, walking into the building for the first time and seeing all my fellow coworkers.  How strange that was, like the scene in Close Encounters when Richard Dreyfuss gets on that small plane with the others of his kind.  

Looking around the room at the equally spaced singular tables, I could see in some people's eyes that they had seen the spaceship.  I wanted to grab them and hug them, say how I understood, have a human moment, but I didn't. I stayed facing forward, sitting quietly getting briefed on the new world we were about to enter.

Everything felt so dangerous and temporary but that hasn't gone away.  The store manager's are trying to force us to act as though the dangers are no longer there because we were 'making the customer's uncomfortable' it was said.  But when they recently increased the capacity, many of us began building barriers out of trash cans, fixtures, anything we could to put distance between us and the thousands of daily germ carriers.  We are tested daily for fever, yet they could be Typhoid Mary.  One day recently after the news about the uptick in Brooklyn numbers and two coworkers became ill, I literally moved an entire workstation that was in a vulnerable area, that I had complained about but so far no one had seen fit to relocate.  I had no authorization but could not go another day watching people work so closely to strangers without care.  I felt compelled to do it and may have scared some of the youngsters. 

I understand if some coworkers feel they are invincible but I already know I'm not, so protecting them is protecting myself.  That's how I see it.  I'm tired of trying to get those workers to comprehend the risk on both of us.  I need to protect myself.  If I hear another 20 year old say, That's okay, I think I already had it, I may punch someone. 

In just these short months, we've gone through many versions of what operating safely looks like.  The rules were broken more and more often when the city moved into the 3rd phase.  Coworkers began facing each other for lunch. Many of the margarita smelling alcohol dispensers and surface cleaning bottles are now missing or empty more often.  Tables aren't being wiped down between users, the bathrooms have become disgusting again.  But Brooklyn is facing another wave right when retail needs to get on it's feet.  I don't think we can afford to not do well for another 3 months.  When companies are desperate financially, they can make dangerous decisions. Our's is very conscientious but locally, it's far less humane and in the same breath, many in the staff are also taking advantage of the chaos, calling out constantly.  Decisions and daily changes are being made quickly and that makes a person nervous. 

This company where pre-COVID had always said 'speak your mind, tell us what we're doing wrong, question what doesn't make sense'.  At least they wrote it all over the walls, printed stickers and put on buttons we are forced to wear.  Now the word is 'do as I say' and the word non-negotiable has come up a few times this week after I pushed back.  That tells me we're in a new stage.  

So how is it working in retail right now?  Not great.  That being said I'm grateful to have a job.  Many of us are more afraid than others. It's too crowded for comfort.  Everyone starts masked but because of the exertion it takes to walk through the vast store, many end up pulling them down to catch their breath which is exactly what you don't want as those particles take flight during heavy breathing.  I can't blame them but customers are not concerned with my safety. They come at us like zombies with their cell phones pointed like guns, trying to show us what they found on the website.  We wear giant yellow buttons that say, please remain 6ft away for our protection but it's like trying to teach cats.  Anything that is so consistent is exhausting.  People actually come around the plastic barriers and enter the tiny space with us, which clearly describes the ridiculousness of the time.  You've never experienced anything so bizarre as standing in a plastic bubble with a 70 year old 6 inches from your face, who sees nothing wrong with this picture.  Its a scene right out of a Monty Python movie, as the scene goes silent, I hold my breathe quietly and slowly ask them to please move to the other side, pointing at the plexi-dome created to keep me safe. I can only guess education will take time to break this closeness we are so used to.  An old man or woman with their mask down to their chin, breathing heavily that can't hear well or where English is perhaps a second language regularly come so close that they grab me like a life raft.  That happens maybe 50 times a day.  I feel for them.  This is someone's grandpa.  But I am scared too.  You can only guess even masked, how so many encounters increases our load and vulnerability.  After all the air is only circulating to a point, we work in a box.  And children.  There are so many kids, running around touching EVERYthing.  They're kids, they get colds, they wipe their noses with their hands, then grab at things.  It's all very common and understandable.  But now, it is different.  Coworkers also must touch everything.  It's impossible I guess is what I'm saying, impossible to stay safe.  Nothing has changed since we were ultra careful wiping the bottoms of our shoes, cleaning packages before opening, not leaving our houses 6 months ago.  We just get more and more relaxed but it supposedly only takes that one infected person's breath to penetrate an orifice.  

Chris Christie of all people said it best this week.  He was someone who had been very careful.  He was afraid as he was high risk.  He knew it would be very tough for him should he contact the virus.  His state is doing horribly and he was a big fat target.  Then he let his guard down after being so careful for so long hunkered down safely in the butt hole of our president.  Even though the event he attended was said to allow only tested people and was mainly outdoors, he felt it was perfectly okay to hug and kiss on fellow like minded idiots.  How far will he or Giuliani go to live in the kingdom of hell?  Apparently as far as it takes.  Well he's lucky to be alive and an average man in his condition that didn't have access to his level of care most likely would not be that.   

A biggie breakfast to start the day

Queen of Light Took Her Bow and Then She Turned to Go

Store bought fresh ravioli with jarred sauce for dinner

Back to my retail job in Phase 1, pre-customers for a full week and I'm noticing that even with the best measures put in place for safety, it's impossible to keep surfaces sanitary at the levels required.  I tried the gloves and realized I'd need to use about 4 to 5 pairs a day at least and after considering the amount of waste, I just couldn't do it.  Your cell phone doesn't work well with them anyway.  When you go to the restroom, you'd either need to take them off and reuse them or just throw them out.  Washing hands is still the best but the recommended rule of every half an hour goes out the window when you're busy.  We were each signed to a computer station but after the first few days, were called to help in the warehouse where we all touched carts, product, paperwork, bags, and more items multiple times, not to mention crammed together in smaller spaces where social distancing became impractical.  The sanitizer bottles that were everywhere the first week, went missing more times than not in the breakroom, so the table you sat at may or may not have been wiped down from the previous eater.  You gotta eat and even though we're 6ft apart, no one is masked while dining.  It's the only time to socialize so by the 2nd day, many folks stopped by my table and chatted unmasked, more like 4 ft away.   I've been sick of course so my fear level is not as high as some of my coworkers but we don't know that you can't get this again. I never understood if a significant viral load made us even more susceptible like the nurses.   As they call back more and more staff it's impossible for the cleaning crews to keep the bathrooms at the level you'd need to keep germs in check.  Most are commuters into Red Hook from buses and subways.  My level of anxiety is low but I do believe we are fighting a hopeless battle the minute customers return.  A sanitized NYC is unattainable.   Jobs will be very hard to come by but I can't help but consider other options for employment in this new reality. I'm sure there is lots of opportunity for a 58 year old with no marketable skills. 

But for now, on my day off a Strawberry waffle cone from Emack and Bolios after a light lunch salad is all I want to focus on. 

In Order to Fight the Powers That Be

Tostadas!

Refreshing layered Beef Tostadas for dinner

As I pondered the problems of the world on my bike ride home, my stomach had ideas of it's own with   a giant craving for Beef Tostadas made fresh.  My mind is second in command to my stomach, the big boss.  To appease, I made a nice bright salsa cruda on top using jalapenos, tomatoes, nectarines, cucumbers, cilantro and onions.  Layers of guacamole, smashed spiced black beans and seasoned ground beef, iceberg lettuce and sharp white cheddar.  At least some things are simple. 

White protesters gather in Downtown Brooklyn to march for George Floyd

Pizza slice for lunch - Mass staff cafeteria call out bonus