Crash Into Me

My rant in real time

I got doored on my bike while riding home from work.  I was coming along Smith Street and a woman opened her car door into the narrow bike lane.  Actually, I was sure she looked and saw me because her door went back in a little at first.  Then suddenly she opened it full swing just as I was approaching.  I screamed Watch That Door!, locked on my breaks and I can still hear my knee hitting the inside of her car door before the world went topsy turvy.  I swerved just enough to not knock into the moving cars on my left.  The crazy thing about bike accidents is that they happen so quickly that you don't realize what body parts are hitting what until like two days later when the pain come along.  But on the other hand your brain does capture tiny moments in slow motion.  For example while I was airborne,  I thought to myself 'oh shit, this is a real accident' and then I looked up and my wheels were above my head. I had enough time to realize that was not going to be good.  My hands were the first thing to hit the pavement but thank God I had my gloves on.  My helmet caught the brunt of the impact and I just remember how close I was to the moving cars and nothing seemed to stop.  But during it all your amped up so high that you don't feel anything.  It's almost like you're a giant eyeball watching it from outside your body.
She got out and I had been cursing to high heaven throughout the fall.  I realized she looked terrified and I was still on the ground.  She asked to please let her help me up and she pulled my bike off of me.  I was surprised to get right up.  In the end you're still yourself and I was embarrassed and mad, confused.  A horrible combination to be while laying on the street I have to say.  That was pretty much it.  I picked up my bike, she was apologizing and I heard her say she's usually really good about checking for bikes and when she did I shot her my mom's side eye that says shut the fuck up, like right this second or you'll regret it.  And she did. I got myself up on the sidewalk.  I puked out some extra expletives before calming down.  For all that in the end, I ended up assuring her that I knew she didn't mean it and I was okay, although I really didn't know if I was. I just wanted her to go.  I slithered into the side street.  I walked a little bit then rode the rest of the way slow and steady.

I didn't make a fun dinner that night. Instead I slept a bit when I got home and woke with a giant headache.  But I do recall that with all the fancy options I tried with that spaghetti squash, the best way to eat it is probably still just a marinara sauce and lots of grated cheese, like I had for lunch that day. It really does mock a thin pasta. With mushrooms and pepperoni slices, like a Lunchables box.