One Day You'll Look To See I've Gone

The New Year brought the flu.  The worst flu that we have experienced yet.  Riding into work on that morning I felt  hopeful and looked forward to new good things.  That flu hit like a comic book

 to the face.  Riding in, my eyelashes grew snowflakes on the ends and my mascara had clumped all to hell.  It was all fun and games until the end of the day.  The pedal home was like rolling in wet sand.  My legs weren't working.  My head was sweaty and my body was suddenly turning on me.

Dreams of all the fun snacks that normally accompany the day all faded to thoughts of a warm bed and tea.  Next scene was P at the corner store buying up all the fried pre-packaged foods he could find.  

Twelve days later my mother would leave us for good. But that flu would stay for another few weeks in some form or another.  In some ways it was a blessing.  I have been dreading that day for all of my life.  My mother in law said it best.  No one is ever ready to lose their mother.  And I wasn't.  Even though she'd given us so much extra time to pre-grieve and prepare ourselves. 

Its funny because I remember this morning so distinctly.  How the air smelled.  It was minus 8 wind chill factor and sunny.  It was apparent how cold it was only when I stopped to take a picture.  It's February now.  January was a dirty bitch.