And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer

Everyone was pouring out of the neighborhood bars today for the World Cup Soccer game.  What a great reminder that we're all connected in a bigger way than even we can comprehend.  The force that we create is big and noticeable when large groups get together around one purpose.  This is when I feel like I could be one of those whacko mind reading freaks on TV.  I walked outside and I could feel the energy so strongly that it almost gets me high.  The presence is there and very alive, like electricity.

My mother was very aware of this type of force. When I was a teenager I think my mom wanted to believe I wasn't a big freak and she'd tried to help me blend in by following the current trends and ways of the so called normal teenagers.  She'd always ask me 'what are they wearing', 'is that what they say'? And I would look at her like first of all, how the hell would I know, I wasn't exactly the social butterfly and secondly, who is they???  I was so far removed from the social 'they'.  And as far as I was concerned, the they in Fort Wayne Indiana could go suck a rock.  They wouldn't know cool if it bit them in the arse.  But when explaining her feelings, she would also always speak in the second person. I was very literal as a child and believed she was speaking for a giant group of people that were in her same vibe.  And now years later, I think she was! And even though my mother was not real outgoing either, she was very connected to the universe.  She wasn't just speaking for herself but a whole world of feelings, a giant energy that really did exist.  She was just more tapped into it.  Even today she seems to be part of a powerful source.  When I speak with her, she shines with a knowing.

I wish we could bottle or recall this grand feeling of unity that we're all experiencing during the World Cup Soccer games.

I imagine we might even be able to break through some major funk wall that is making us all depressed and anxious if we all came together and focused on a change.  First we have to believe that we're not all individuals, little islands on our own but a mass strength.

I myself could heed that good advice as I feel very alone lots of days and not a part of anything big.  And that is a contradiction to my spiritual beliefs.

I am going to try to feed off of this mass juice this month to regain some vitality I've been lacking.  Also going further, I'm going to try to turn to it for ideas and strength to make some major changes in my life.  Obviously I am not alone in this world.

Love is the Answer

Has anyone tried to cook this nitrate free turkey bacon?  First of all you can't pull it apart without it all falling into a million pieces.  I put the strips on a baking sheet in the oven for 20 minutes and still burnt it.  I love that I can eat the bacon without the nitrates because they are a major migraine trigger for me but there has got to be a trick.  You know I never thought about reading the label for cooking directions.  Maybe there really is a proper way to make this .  Next time.  I'm always so manic when making morning breakfast because I have the rot gut from coffee going and it's all about getting the quick fix.  I need to take my time and put some thought into it.  Like a good egg salad, its so simple but the lunch lady at work makes it so perfectly it's a spoonful of heaven.  Just the right amount of mayo, her eggs are soft and never rubbery.  She says her secret is she makes it with love.

Thank goodness I'll eat anything, burnt or not.  If I paid good money for it, I'm eating the damn thing.  I had lots of roasted tomatillo salsa for my herby egg scramble.

There is controversy around whether nitrates are harmful in cured meats and I read that arugula has more than hot dogs.  I am not eating them because of the cancer scare but because they proved to be a migraine trigger.  I can only say from my own experience, even this very week when I was forced (forced, I tell ya!) to eat a salami sandwich at work from a vending machine because the staff cafe was closed, the next morning like clockwork, I got a major headache.  I don't get headaches from arugula.  The science is there.

basil, mint and cilantro went into my herby eggs along with onion and tomatoes and bell pepper.

For dinner, leftover lemon chicken thighs.

You Can Go Your Own Way

I'm trying to talk myself into packing my lunch or dinner for work.  You'd think with all this cooking that I'd easily have stuff to take but honestly so far the $3 staff cafeteria lunch offer has been just fine.  They offer two hot entrees like fried chicken, ribs, hamburgers, salmon with vegetables and rice or potatoes, mac and cheese. I mean it's more than a great deal.  If you don't like that, there is hot soup and salad fixings and also cold meat and bread to make sandwiches.  Coincidentally, almost everything on the menu now except for the salad I don't eat.   So it's been about a year of eating salads. Thing is, whereas there used to be more actual vegetables to make a meal, now the skinny buffet seems a little stale and void of much real nutrition.  I understand budgets.  I was very grateful to get all that great food while it lasted.   Somethings rotten in Denmark now though Jim.   So says my stomach anyways.

So, now the question is how long will it take my procrastinating ass to actually take the time to pack meals each week.  Seems daunting somehow.   This night I just put my toe in the water by still making a salad at work but I brought I bowl of my homemade chicken cabbage soup and dressed it with a huge dollop of my roasted tomatillo sauce.
This workplace has always felt like prison to me so in a way great tasting food is out of place here. But obviously I am not getting out early for good behavior so it may be best to get a fresher outlook on my situation. But either way I could definitely get used to fresher food.