I had all this free time with P away on his driving adventure. I knew I'd squander most days on senseless self revulsion. I don't allow myself nice things too often. But once in awhile if I feel I've paid my dues, I let just enough joy seep in to fully comprehend what I find the need to deprive myself of most days. I worked 10 to 6:30 on this day, which on paper looks like a perfectly reasonable shift. But it's so damn long if you deal with the public all day. So very, very long. I'm one of those freaks that resents every single day that I have to do something that I don't want to do. I keep all of that hostility on my Google Cloud, bought the extra storage needed and everything. I desperately wanted to convince myself that I'm not the giant loser I see in the bathroom mirror at work in her puke yellow polo shirt. Or maybe that's precisely who I am. In either case, nachos were clearly in order.
Deluxe nachos with tomatoes, black beans, sweet onions, jalapenos, and sharp cheddar just waiting to be smothered in my roasted hot sauce.
