My husband goes running off on the road when he can, which seems to be a lot. But there is something to be said of alone time. Time to just be still. I can take ridiculously long showers and eat bad food that he doesn't enjoy. I can watch stupid girlie movies. I can clean the apartment and rest knowing there will not be peanuts on the floor or unwiped spills. The bedding will be void of popcorn kernels, just cotton pureness on my legs. I can light candles and pretend I don't suck.
Because he gets to go gallivanting everywhere, I convince myself I deserve, the best chips made, like these ham flavored numbers, and they were! I got Dave's Killer Bread after seeing countless late night commercials on YouTube. And it was a cut above in taste and texture, actually. I carefully made myself a stacked retro BLT with chips and sour cream and onion dip. I watched a whole season of
Alone and it helped me to feel less so, as well as grateful I wasn't eating a dead squirrel in a stinky tent somewhere in Siberia.
Restlessness makes sense to me. Who isn't feeling agitated, anxious and disturbed? I don't trust people who are complacent, especially during these last two years. There was a time you could put all this chaos around us out of your mind but that time is gone. I don't know what we're supposed to do with it but I do respect those who are searching for their own answers.
