Thursday, February 23, 2023

Don't Tell Me What it's All About

Sheet Pan Dinner with Spicy Hamburger Balls 
Sharing a thought I've cultivated all week:  People generally don't want to hear the storyline of books that you're reading or the characters in the series you find fascinating, or sadly, what happened to you at work that day.  I'm sorry to be the one to say it, but I've come to realize it's the hard, cold truth.  Even if it feels like you'll burst if you don't tell someone, you might want to stop and consider what this really is before you blurt out all your deets on some poor schlep.  Thankfully, this is what people who love you are for.  Don't get me wrong, they don't want to hear it either, but they love you, so they'll stop what they're doing and pause, just for you.  They listen to you for different reasons and sometimes even find your stories endearing.  They'll sit while secretly hoping it's not going to be yet another long drawn out drama that goes into detail about people and things they care nothing about.  I know because I do this for my husband and he does it for me and has for years.  As the years go on, I try not to sigh or get too visibly stressed out at the start of a work rant.  Or I try to catch myself mid stream, when I'm carrying on too long about some silly happening and in the midst of getting all worked up, I notice that look on his face.  The one I'm familiar with.  The one I get when my coworker begins telling me about some TV Series that I'm sure I'll never watch, as they describe in excruciating detail the plot and twists and inside I'm slapping myself awake or hearing Morrissey sing I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!.   But we all do it, that's the thing.  In exchange, I'm surprised why they aren't ecstatic to hear my play by play encounter with a rude customer. 

We love to talk.  I'm talking right now, at you. Going on and trusting that you are on the edge of your seat but it is frightening to think just how untrue that really is most of the time.   
Maybe we throw it all out there, hoping that we'll catch a fish.  They are merely starters for what we hope can build a great conversation with someone who will give feedback, and help us work out these details of life, these petty problems that aren't that interesting but have necessary lessons or real information within them.  

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