Sunday, October 27, 2019

Those Memories of You Still Haunt Me

A million years ago I worked at Leopold Records in Berkeley, California in what my mate calls my college education years because of all the amazing teachers I met in that store.  So many to write about but on this day, some 30 plus odd years later I find myself remembering Albert Ramirez, the Jazz buyer.  Listening to a lecture by Sadhguru last night he said nothing is negative, experiences are only pleasant or an adventure. Negativity is something created by us in our own minds.  If you're a woman you've most likely listened to hundreds of lectures on how to look at things more positively. His outlook brings me back to Albert, at the store years ago when I was in my early 20's and he a Sufi in his mid-40's taking on the mutual challenges of life in the ever changing world of music retail from two different vantage points.   He used to correct my ways of saying almost everything as I constantly spit out words without forethought.  He would say 'you get to go to work', not you have to work as in the negative way I would say it.  Hate was coincidentally a word that came out of my mouth quite often.  He would again correct me, you don't hate that, it's a challenge or an opportunity for you.  You're looking at it all wrong he'd say with a big, beautiful smile.  Each time, I felt he was right and then again, I knew I was not in a position to really grasp these concepts yet.  Similar to when someone mentioned that the sun does not rise in the morning, the earth turns to give the illusion.  I know this is true but in my mind's eye I've seen it opposite all my life.  Changing would take time and effort.  Life comes at you fast in your twenties and you don't like to second guess your reality.

Again, you hear and read these things throughout your life and they stick about as well as an old band-aid but maybe a little longer each time.  This year I really do feel it like a great fitting pair of shoes.  And even though the words were always important, it was really that light in Albert's eyes that sold me.  He had such a joy of living that shone through.  That calm lightness of a child but with the wisdom of all the old souls.
Veggie patty with a potato cake and green beans from the staff cafeteria

A young girl came to the store yesterday with her elderly father.  She was very curt and unpleasant, even told her father to shut up in no uncertain terms to which he put his hands up and backed away.  She was around the same age as I was back then, in a totally different life.  But the similar piece is that she felt she knew what was up but was miles away from it, just like me.  At one point she tried to scold me and take something out of my hands, like physically grab it.  My first reaction was to slap that bitch up but I stopped myself.  Now, I'll admit I am no Albert Ramirez but I tried to smile on her and let her know first of all that her negativity was not shared, nor did I need to hold any of it for her.  It was all hers to carry, like a big bag of smelly dog poop.  Instead, I looked at her father and sincerely laughed, 'Oh my, it's going to be one of those Sundays'.  And I wished him a great day and smiled at the girl.   
They were celebrating health this week for our insurance sign up and even put out a spread of healthy snacks including smoothies and nuts, broccoli and carrots.

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