So Close, So Close and Yet So Far

I went to the diner to meet my bud and chat about life, enjoy lively conversation and address a topic that had been bothering me.  I was wrestling with one I knew would not be popular, the cancelling of Ryan Adams.  There were rumblings of this upcoming documentary but Leaving Neverland had not aired yet so Ryan was up next on the chopping block.  Who knew what was at our doorstep.
This was a few weeks ago and my first thoughts were just to protect the music, as if I was leaving a burning building and had to prioritize.  I felt protective of that music, and of the songwriter, the musician.  But then the actual man, I figured would need to deal with his own issues.  This was a personal matter, everyone would see it that way.

And then the last month happened.  It didn't happen to me, it happened to that man.  But the musician and the music also took quite the blow. I find the whole concept of erasing people completely barbaric and beneath us.  I don't see the value or benefit of being vindictive.

This New York Times story on canceling people is a good read but the best thing I got out of it was the attached video commentary.  She makes valuable points.  And btw her Michael Jackson video I disagreed with but again her points were well made.  We just differ on opinion.

This canceling goes along with our desire to sweep bad people under the societal rug. Out of sight out of mind. Look how poorly it's working in our prison system.  And if you believe we are all one like I do, this is just us looking in the mirror and not being able to cope or forgive ourselves for our own weaknesses.  To own up to the fact that we all do bad things from time to time.  Demonizing the perpetrators only helps convince ourselves that there is miles of distance between us and them.  When in reality as she mentions, we are often both in the span of our lifetime.
In her overview of this subject Kimberly Foster takes on the problems of adopting this ethos as a society.  How change is never off the table if one is alive.  How no one should be thrown away. She speaks of restorative justice, which you would think would be a top ranking idea for enlightened individuals.  And in my opinion the biggest disservice we do to ourselves is to believe we have the right to take another person's liberties away.  That anyone must prove to us that they are worthy to have a career that they've already earned.  Just because it can be done, doesn't make it right. 
I have struggled to let this topic go.  It has somehow gotten beneath my skin.  This man, albeit flawed if the stories are true and I don't doubt they are, was stripped of his life's work in a sense overnight.  For me, this was like watching a neighbor get shot on the street.  And then realizing these shootings have gone on now for awhile.  You knew shooting a man in cold blood is wrong no matter what he did. How is it possible that this has transpired without dispute?  And then Michael Jackson was next.

Yes it is time to wake up and do something different about men's treatment of women in many cases, but this is not it.  We are going in the wrong direction.  The anger Ms. Foster speaks of is real.  The crap that women have endured is monumental in working environments and its disappointing when it's someone who's work you admire.  Let's act rationally.  Let's own our own crimes too.  This time the public has committed the violation.
another great article on the subject
I could not help but connect this story to another I am studying.  This notion that perhaps other humans had developed to a certain level several times on this earth but always somehow offed themselves or were taken out by some means, only to start from scratch again and again.  On one hand if you look at the last 6000 years it appears we've made stellar advances in science and inventions. That we really evolved quickly in relation to time.  How it seemed for a minute we were right on the brink of turning a major page in our evolution.  And then all the sudden it feels like we're just spinning faster. Nothing feels like it's moving forward.  Maybe for all the attempts, progression was always just a few generations away.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

Southern Living Recipe

This is a great idea for a hot or cold day.  Spicy Beef Lettuce Wraps.  I made a very quick yogurt-Tahini sauce with lemons and a side cucumber tomato salad.  The key to making them taste different then burgers is to really amp up the spices.  Cumin, Allspice, Coriander, Red Pepper Flakes and fresh herbs.  The heat of the spice with that cool yogurt sauce is divine!

Also if you make a little extra, you could take one of these to work the next day and the salad marinates overnight.  I added some Cannellini beans to make them more hearty.

Open Up, Everything's Waiting for You

There was a minute this year when P was making dinner it felt like a lot of times, when in reality it was probably just 4 or 5 but they came in succession.  But when he did, turns out he is way better with meat, like cuts of steak and chops then me.  I've always been a little intimidated after a couple hundred failed attempts. But in my defense, it was more likely my cheap buying habits then cooking methods.  Instead thinking I would transform shoe leather from the sale isle or get a family pack of something instead of buying two good pieces, like he does.  But that's how I role, always cutting corners, trying to save, for what, God only knows.  I hate spending money.  Sometimes I think I'd pay money just to not have to go buy things, which is basically our Amazon membership fee. 

However I do what I call fantasy spend all the time.  I love going online to pick out the boots I would buy if I still gave a shit, or the dress I would wear if I ever felt the desire to put on a dress again.  The heels that would show the muscles in my legs or the perfect spring jacket that I could wear to brunch.  And I could buy them sometimes but its better just wanting them.  Getting things sometimes is not all that rewarding.  Except for this steak with pre-dinner cheese and crackers.  That was pretty cool.